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Poetry


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A Snapshot (1)

By stevetroster

24 June 2008

Not one from my own family album, just an image that jumped into my head.

           Mummy danced for small change
           on table tops in bars,
           saved her shiny pennies
           bought a puppet on a string.
               At night we danced beneath the moon
           when mummy wasn’t there,
           at night we danced beneath the stars
           while mummy danced in bars.

Reviews

Written by KaydieKate (63 comments posted) 24th June 2008

I like the ending the most, since I'm a fanatic about rhyme. Very good
Kaydie

Written by Brett (785 comments posted) 24th June 2008

I adore this piece! It has childlike innocence yet also the undercurrent of pathos - those last four lines are magnificent ( Tom Waits would kill for lines like these!)
Great stuff.
Cheers

Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 24th June 2008

Kate (I’m assuming K.D. are your initials), I’m not a stickler for rhyme - hence the reason it doesn’t - but I’m glad that you liked the part that did.
Best wishes,
Steve.

Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 24th June 2008

Brett, thanks.
I don’t often rear my ugly head so, when I do, it’s nice to have a few pretty words thrown my way.
Just an image of a young girl sitting alone in a dark house playing with an old toy.

All the best,
Steve.

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 25th June 2008

Like this Steve. Like Brett: the image of innocence meeting something a little more coarse works well.

Phil

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