Great Writing - Home > Short S. > A Fitting Way to Go
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1705 guests online and 2 members online
Shorts
A Fitting Way to Go
By skrik
01 April 2005
The raison d'être of this short short is the plank. Otherwise, there are few, if any, surprises here. I wrote it in July last year.

Torvald trudged homewards across the frozen fjord, as he often had during the past seventy winters, his safety plank in tow. Two metres long with a rope attached to one end, it trailed behind him. He could use it to bridge holes in the ice, or to support his weight while he climbed back up, should he happen to fall through.

He had stayed too long at his neighbour's; the day had long since passed into darkness. Dinner was succeeded by coffee, which was supplanted by brandy. Torvald related his visit to an Oslo hospital the previous week:

"Cancer, would you believe it? Cancer of the bowel, and it's too far gone to do anything about it." He had demanded that the hospital allow him to return home. He had lived in the fjord all his life, he would die there, too, not in some barren hospital room.

The two neighbours drowned their sorrows in the best part of a whole bottle that Sunday evening. One man was losing his friend; the other was losing his life. Their companionship had no future. The brandy helped them forget that, but it brought them together in the past, as they laughed and cried over old, common memories. When Torvald eventually stood up to leave, he was unsteady on his feet, but wouldn't hear of staying the night at his friend's:

"Away is good, but home is best," he said as he booted up for the trek home.

Torvald's mind cleared somewhat, as he picked his way across the sea ice that had allowed the neighbours to see so much of each other this winter. Spring came surprisingly quickly at this time of the year, he thought. He had found the ice solid on the way to dinner. Now, it was moving, there could be no doubt, which meant it was breaking up. He felt it heave and toss in variously-sized flakes as he stepped from one to the other. He smiled to himself. An ill-timed jump, or the wrong choice of flake, and in he would go. His plank had saved him countless times before. He wondered if he would be able to pull himself out, at his age and in his condition.

Before he had finished wondering, he was flailing breathlessly in the icy water. The flake he had stepped onto had broken in two, neither  bit able to bear his weight. He resisted the urge to panic; he still had hold of the rope. He pulled on it until he could see the end of his plank. Positioning it so that each end rested on a large flake, he used it to lift himself up in the water, his arms supporting his weight as he regained his breath.

Having satisfied himself that he would be able to get out, Torvald lowered himself back into the freezing water and slipped under the ice, wondering how long it would be before someone found him.

Reviews
Unexpected ending
Written by Odaisis (5 comments posted) 31st March 2005
Very clever. I like it when the story builds up and then in those very few last sentences, it comes all together. Wouldn't change a thing.
Torvald's choice ....
Written by PaulMcDermott ( comments posted) 1st April 2005
 
" ... whether 'tis nobler in the mind ...." etc: 
 
does he choose a quick (and relatively painless) death by drowning, or several months of painful lingering death from cancer? 
Not a brilliant choice to be forced to make, but I understand why you choose to end this story as you do. 
Don't change anything! :grin
A complex story told succinctly
Written by kevinrobson71 (42 comments posted) 5th April 2005
Anaesthitized by the Brandy but fully rational-makes perfect sense-you done good

Written by Fay (16 comments posted) 11th April 2005
I really liked the theme and the way it was written. I would have liked it to have been less predictable though...if the end had been a twist, it would have been more powerful. That's probably just me though! Well written!
Okay.
Written by DustinBowcott (66 comments posted) 2nd May 2005
Maybe the last paragraph could do with being switched round. 
 
An enjoyable short.

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item