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print friendly version
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write, right, wright, whatever |
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By writerme
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26 June 2008 |
what am I writing about
write, about what I don't know
just write
watching
words grow
little by little they rhyme
stretch
come
filling each line
making sense I guess so
crazy
love
some full of spirit and some low
racing with adrenalin inside of me
I write
I erase
lyrics come into view, ha, I see
what can I say
laugh
cry
always a new day
tomorrow I will climb high
tilt the rockets
shock the world
color the sky
you will be there
I feel you
close by my side
together without a care
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Written by KaydieKate (63 comments posted) 25th June 2008 | | It's interesting. It had a nice flow, but caught with the last lines. Overall, I like it. |
Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 26th June 2008 | | It's hard to put my finger on what I like about this piece...I think it's a good evocation of the writing process, the excitement of watching a piece gradually evolve. It's also nice and simple without being bland. However, I feel like you could develop the idea a bit more, and the rhyming seems unnecessary and makes the piece a bit unnatural in places- when in your life do you ever think "ha, I see?" |
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