This is just absolutely stupid. The term "broken fish" came into my head the other day, and it would not leave until I wrote words around it. I did, but unfortunately, the words make no sense.
Broken Fish
Dr. Hazel Capon was deeply concerned. The funding for project “Broken Fish” was running out, and without significant results in the next four months, it was unlikely the Flugler Foundation would continue its support of her work.
Dr. Capon was the only ichthyo-orthopod in the country specializing in rib injuries of salt-water fish. Her previous work with crustacean amputees led to the development of “Capon’s Leg,” a salt-powered prosthesis that allowed amputee crabs to sidle normally, had vaulted her to fame in the marine biology surgical world and opened the funding wallets for new research. The people at Flugler poured millions into the Broken Fish project, hoping to be associated with new, cutting-edge surgical techniques for repairing shattered fish bones. But now, two years later, the foundation trustees were rethinking their position; without the slightest hint of a breakthrough from Capon’s work, it was considering moving its funds to a group that was doing groundbreaking work on alleviating pre-menstrual stress in bison. If that happen, Hazel’s once-proud standing in the fish field would suffer considerably.
Dr. Hazel Capon faced a dilemma, a moral dilemma. She knew exactly what the problem was that was hindering her research, she knew it two months after project Broken Fish began, and she knew how to solve it. By solving it, however, she would have to cross a line she wasn’t sure she could cross.
The problem, Hazel learned early on, was that fish seldom received rib injuries. Occasionally, a high-powered speedboat piloted by a drunken fat guy from Minnesota would slam into a carp and snap a rib, but usually resulted in the quick demise of the fish. Other than that, fish just didn’t seem to break ribs…unless…unless you punched them. That was Hazel’s problem; should she start beating up fish and get more money, or admit she screwed up and slink off to obscurity? To make matters worse, Dr. Hazel Capon was born under the sign of Pisces.
Unwilling to become an ichthyo-terrorist, Dr. Capon told the Flugler Foundation her research “going nowhere” and closed down the Broken Fish project. She has since changed her specialty to gastropod psychiatry.
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Written by mia_ms_kim (1017 comments posted) 27th June 2008 |  I really enjoyed this piece. I'm becoming addicted to your quirky endearing characters who take themselves so seriously. This was very funny, it brightened my day. But I recognise the instinct and skill it takes to pen something like this.
It's funny what triggers writers to write. I normally see a character in a particular scene, then I want to write about him/her to know them deeply.
I wonder if you can weave your short stories into a novel format with a central unifying theme - quirky characters uniting to save the planet and enviroment or revolting against tradition etc.
Mia |
Written by Canadian_Bacon (110 comments posted) 27th June 2008 | Hm...
I agree more with your intro than with Mia, I'm afraid. You could poke and prod this into a deeper story if you wanted to without losing the quirk that you're known for. |
Written by TwistedTales (548 comments posted) 28th June 2008 | This was a fun read, but like CB, it didn't work that well for me. Some of the things were hillarious, like the discovery the doctor makes about the fishes. But, other than that, I am afraid, it didn't do much. It's worthwhile considering Mia's suggestion - The book could have different chapters, each dealing with a different animal trying to solve some problem, but Bob should feature in each one of them 
Regards,
TT, |
Written by Emmuttmax (171 comments posted) 28th June 2008 | Thanks to all for taking the time to read this nonsense. As I stated in the intro, there are times when a word or phrase enters my head and demands attention. It is sort of like getting a tune stuck in your head, and you find yourself humming it all day. Sometimes, the word or phrase leads me to the village from which they came, and we all gather for a party and celebrate.
Other times, I just want them to go away, but they refuse until I give them some playmates. At those times, I pull leftover words from my cerebellum and send them out to play with the interlopers. This was such a time. |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 29th June 2008 | I have to disagree with the above. There's a place for the surreal - even the oddly surreal. (Tautology or oxymoron?)
Like much of your writing - it has what I see as commercial appeal - a little filler somewhere.
Perhaps another brain fart - but not smelly - just fun.
Phil |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 29th June 2008 | I think you just about got away with it. If you are going to do this sort of surreal stuff you have to do it with complete commitment and be true to your world and you obviously have the confidence and ability to do that. You also kept it going by upping the "weird" quotient and with some wonderfully funny lines. My favourite:-
"should she start beating up fish and get more money"
The funny thing was, it didn't sound at all contrived when I read it; a testament to how involved I got in your world
cheers
jane |
Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 24th July 2008 | Once again the fridge magnet revels in negativity.
Correction, there is always room for humour of this kind. The world is sadly lacking humour in the style of Python, Milligan, etcetera.
The image of a crab with a prosthetic leg will live with me for many years to come. However, does the field of crab prosthetics currently only extend as far as legs? If so, I can see an opening in the market for anyone shrewd enough to manufacture hydraulically operated pincers.
All the best,
Steve. |
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