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Poetry
The Spectre
By bobc
28 June 2008
Once over my shoulder, now in my face.

The Spectre of disaster smiles at every morning meal
Consuming more of the feast each day
The glint of knowing in it's eye
But nothing does it say

I clear my plate of what it leaves
Make do and smile back
I say "you may win eventually"
"We all walk down that track"

Flowing flavors are for me to taste
Disolving on my tongue
I am thankful I have tasted much
Since days when I was young

So consume as much as fate allows
Dance with heated breath
The Spectre follows all that walk
Until we bring it death
 

Reviews

Written by rainhands (3 comments posted) 30th June 2008
Heya, 
 
you might want to run a spell-check over things before you post. e.g.: 
 
disater/disaster 
it's/its 
eventualy/eventually 
tounge/tongue 
alows/allows 
 
Also quite a few of the rhymes feel forced, such as the twisting of the word order in: "yet nothing does it say", when the more natural flow would be "yet it doesn't say anything". 
 
Perhaps try rewriting this without rhyming? It'll mean you're not so restricted by it. Hope some of this was helpful.
Thanks
Written by bobc (49 comments posted) 30th June 2008
My spelling is as bad as my typing!

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