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One morning, my mother, in her infinite wisdom, decided to bake a layer cake while a fellow from Brisbane, who'd visited Lisbon, tended our lake with a garden rake.
The goldfish all came up gasping for air and mother, in despair, plucked out all of her nasal hair and made a curly ginger wig, while the fellow from Brisbane, now pining for bourbon, made gallons of coffee from syrup of fig.
At this, the bullfrogs, toads and crested newts sprang from their lillies and, although feeling quite silly, gathered around to raise their eyes and gasp in surprise at a ghastly sound that swelled from the gardener's "Never" regions.
My mother, now filled with disgust, polished off all of the skimmed milk and rusks, gathered the rest of her worldly possessions and, wishing to teach the foul gardener a lesson, rode off on a Friesian with the French foreign legion.
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Written by Talisker (1338 comments posted) 29th June 2008 | My goodness, there are the makings of a few decent limericks in here. Some good "nonsense" a la Spike Milligan, whose I love by the way.
A bit rough, a few spelling faux pas (e.g. Brisbane, fresian, gardener's), somewhat "stream of altered conscience". I can't decide if this is the work of an errant genius or a rampant loony. Does it matter?
Oli
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Written by Mr_E_Writer (269 comments posted) 29th June 2008 | Ooh! Ah! Yes!
Brisbane, you see, I've never been,
Friesian or fresian (though I may stand corrected)
Gardener's one I should have seen
But, like blind in one eye man, my column's erected.
More a stream of unaltered unconsciousness from a lampant roony, but, as you say, who cares!
Eric
 | Hilarious!
Written by Katanga (1698 comments posted) 29th June 2008 | Much enjoyed!
Quibble - do you mean the gardener's 'never regions' as a joke, or is it a typo for 'nether regions'?
Either way, it's great!
As for you being a 'lampant roony' - Waaaaaah!
Cheers!
John |
Written by Mr_E_Writer (269 comments posted) 29th June 2008 | "Never" in the field of anal conflict, etc.
Cheers,
Eric Roony | I stand erected!
Written by Katanga (1698 comments posted) 29th June 2008 | Thanks Eric!
Cheers!
John |
Written by Josie (2945 comments posted) 1st July 2008 | | May I politely ask this question: What would you think distinguishes this as "poetry" as against "prose"? I cannot, in a month of Sundays, see that this is poetry, but it could easily be made into poetry. http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewarticle.asp?AuthorID=16813 An excellent article. But why not enlarge on what you have said, divide it into clear paragraphs and make it into an excellent piece of prose. Perhaps you could explain to me why you think it is poetry? Thank you. |
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