Mum is not in her room. She hasn’t been in her room for ten days now - I have been counting. First I thought, she was sick, but at night, when Papa goes into the bedroom, there is no sound. I haven’t heard mum say, "Please John. Not tonight. My insides hurt." I haven’t heard Papa say, “Shut the fuck up and open your fucking legs.” When I ask Papa, he says, "Your mum’s a slut. She must’ve run away with some asshole." I say, "I want to go to mum,’ and he says, ‘Fuck off."

I ask Jina what ‘fuck’ means? And she says her Papa uses it, when he’s mad. Then she thinks for a while and says, "he also uses it when he’s happy." She doesn’t know, she says. I ask her if her mum is at home. "Yes, she is." Jina is happy when she talks about her mum and Papa. I tell her my mum isn’t home, and ask if she knows where she is. Jina combs Polly’s hair and says I should look for my mum under my bed, or behind doors. I do, but can’t find her.

Papa comes home with an aunty. Her name is Shiela aunty. She looks much like Bonnie. She wears red lipstick and has brown hair. Shiela auntie’s clothes have become short too, just like Bonnie’s, after I washed them once. Papa says she is my new mum.  I tell my brother this, and he says he doesn’t care. I don’t like Sheila aunty. I feel like crying.

I take out mum’s photo from under my bed and look at her. That’s when I come to know that she’s playing hide and seek with me. I look for her everywhere, even in the bathroom and in cupboards. But, I can’t find her. I tell her she wins, but she doesn’t come out.

I hear Papa and Shiela aunty in the bedroom. Papa doesn’t say ‘fuck’ to her. She says it to him. "Fuck me like a man John." I want to tell her he is a man, but I don’t. Papa doesn’t like when I go to his room.

My mum looks nice without her sunglasses, without her black and blue marks. She looks like me, only bigger. Shiela aunty comes in to my room and snatches the photo from me. She calls my Papa. “John, look who’s your daughter looking at?” Papa takes my mum’s photo from Shiela auntie’s hands and spits on my mum. He then tears the photo into many pieces. They both leave. Shiela aunty looks back and laughs at me. I collect the pieces and put them in my school bag.

I got hurt in school today. A boy pushed me down and sang, "Anne has no Mommy, Anne has no mommy." I tell him my mum will be back soon. I come home, but my mum’s still not there. I open my school bag and take out that bit of her photo, which has her eyes. She looks at me and says I love you.  I say, ‘I love you too, mum.’