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Poetry
Morning Blues
By Talisker
02 July 2008

Do you ever wake in the morning

Your head spinning like a carousel

Thoughts difficult to make out

Like friends faces passing in a blur?

 

Do you ever find in the morning

A tune on repeat in your mind

Playing over and over and over

Like someone else’s jukebox?

 

Does it ever seem in the morning

That even the sparrows are mocking

With their constant cheap, cheap, cheap,

Like a kid banging a triangle?

 

Do you ever realise in the morning

That to waken has been folly

That the other place was nicer

Like a mad, mental playground?

 

Oli  02/0708

Reviews
Yes, sometimes!
Written by fellpony (1580 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
I can empathise with stanza 2, definitely and frequently. The others, less so, but having occasionally felt that way, I know where you're coming from.  
 
The careful lack of rhyme suits this well.
process
Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
I know that process, though my morning blues mainly have to do with arthritic agonies 
 
The form is interesting -- that lack of rhyme does the job !! 
 
patterjack

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
You've put it all together really well. It's something I can really sympathise with.. I remember an song a few years ago that said "Everyday you should do something that scares you" 
My reaction was :- I do, I get out of bed in the morning! 
I really enjoyed this but think rhyming would improve it as it would make it more like those old Blues Hollers from people like Blind, Halitosis Jefferson Buckle. I think he played the Isle of Wight once 
cheers 
jane

Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
#1 - relatively frequently 
#4 - occasionally 
 
Thought this read well and the ideas came through clearly - even the ones that 'weren't me.' 
 
To be honest, I'm usually too knackered to feel anything much until I'm halfway to work and realise I've left something important at home or have a difficult issue to face. Can't tell you what it seems like then! 
 
Phil

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