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Poetry
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Morning Blues (Blues Version)
By Talisker
02 July 2008

For Jane.


D’ya eva wake up in da mawnee (sumtime!)

Head  a spin like a carousel (wowww, yeahhh!)

Den fom somway widout wawnee

Comdee pain right outa Hell (yeah, wowww, yeahh!)

 

Every tin gonna be awright yeahh!

If awright mean same as shit. Yeahh!

 

D’ya eva find in da mawnee (awways!)

A blues playin’ in ya mind (wowww, yeahhh!)

Wid a lyric so damn cawnee

By a black dude dat was blind? (yeah, wowww, yeahh!)

 

Every tin gonna be awright yeahh!

If awright mean same as shit. Yeahh!

 

Do it eva seem in da mawnee (usuallee!)

Dat de sparrows cheap too loud (wowww, yeahhh!)

All yer chickens gittin’ scrawnee

Yer pyjamas is a shroud? (yeah, wowww, yeahh!)

 

Every tin gonna be awright yeahh!

If awright mean same as shit. Yeahh!

 

D’ya eva realise in da mawnee (shoodoo!)

Dat to wake ya been a fool (wowww, yeahhh!)

Just when tings was gittin hawnee

Wid dat chubby chick from school (yeah, wowww, yeahh!)

 

Every tin gonna be awright yeahh!

In ma hawnee, hawnee dreams, wowww, yeahh!

 

Oli  02/0708

   

Reviews

Written by Mr_E_Writer (187 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
Oh dear, Jamaican 'functional expression' purist blues, my least favourite kind! 
Still worth a grin, though. 
:grin
Waaaaaah!
Written by Katanga (1182 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
Hilarious - I actually enjoyed this more than your 'serious' one, though that is excellent as well. 
 
Can't wait for Jane's reaction - hope she's chuffed! 
 
Cheers! 
 
John

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
Wonderful, Oli  
Well I supposed I asked for that. You got the patois just right and I could almost hear the slide guitar in the background and see the gnarled old fingers scraping over the frets. 
I'm really impressed that you managed to do it so well. I'm guessing there must be a bit of the blues man in you to get it so right. 
Yes, chuffed to bits 
jane

Written by Turquoise-Tangerine (95 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
"You got the patois just right...!" 
So you must own a Bob Marley blues album? 
 
A good crack, but poetic licence with the lingo, I feel!! 
 
Wake up in da mawnee, slavin fir breakfarse.  
Don'tcha worry bout a ting, cos every little ting gonna be alwight. 
 
:grin 
 

Written by Josie (2780 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
I have to say there is only one wordee to describe dis. Do you wish to continue, or shuttee ya eyes r i g h t nowee - 
p r i c e l e s s!

Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
Ok, so alittle of the Desmond Dekkers may have crept in through a cockroach hole! 
 
"Wake up in de mornee 
slaverin' in bed sir 
so dat every mouth-can beef-head! 
Ohhhh Ohhhh 
me ears are alight!" 
 
Some of you are hard to please! 
 
:grin

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
"A good crack, but poetic licence with the lingo, I feel" 
 
Well what do you expect,this is the poetry forum.A prose licence wouldn't work nearly so well.
Licence
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
Yeh, I got too many points on my prose licence.  
 
A speed camera caught me writing flash fiction :cry

Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
I read this with a grin from start to finish. Good stuff. 
 
Phil

Written by Veronica_Milvus (603 comments posted) 2nd July 2008
The comments almost as good as the poem. And the Desmond Dekker also inspired. 
 
Blind Lemon Talisker's bin to de crossroads 
awwrite!

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