My contribution to the ‘By Heart’ theme.
This was inspired by Josie’s poem, and a recent visit back home.
It seems a bit pathetic after all the great offerings on the subject.
It’s verse rather than poetry.
I follow Galway by conviction,
And Jesus by coercion.
All those hymns and long processions
Are sheer Purgatory in motion.
Outside the Church the women wait
While the men are in the store
The sly cash dealing and the Guinness
They stoically ignore.
Head bowed, I creep into the Church
For I’d be petrified to see
The twisted stony faces of
God’s gothic bouncers, glaring down at me.
The long robed priests don’t walk but glide
The nuns just wheel them in
They move like big black Daleks
Exterminating sin.
We kneel, and stand and sit and sing
We need no books to follow
We know the ritual by heart,
Yet those hearts feel strangely hollow.
There’s Jamie Burke, he’s three rows back.
I crane my head to see.
I’ll walk past with such a holy look
He’s bound to notice me.
The Virgin Mary’s statue
Has a tear under each eye.
My Nan says if you see them move,
You’ll go to Heaven when you die.
The Priest calls the boys to wait behind.
The girls don’t count in Catholic lore,
Unless your name is Mary
And you’re a virgin or a whore.
The sermon rocks us in our seats.
We learn the world’s a scary place.
If we stray too far to heathen worlds.
We’ll lose our state of grace.
The priest’s all smiles as we walk out.
Our souls at ease, our knees in pain.
He knows we’ll all be back next week,
To go through it all again.
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Hi Jane
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 3rd July 2008 |
I did laugh. Especially at the one about the Marys.
Even though I am a weekly church goer, I must admit you certainly describe the experience pretty well. The memorised rituals - without really thinking about what it is you are saying. The thinking about what others in the church are thinking. |
Very good!
Written by Brett (731 comments posted) 3rd July 2008 |
'Purgatory in motion' - great.
Heartbreaking to me how anyone could stoically ignore a Guinness!
Like Jean, I did laugh at the Marys, particularly the 8th stanza. And that final stanza sums it all up for me!
Loved this.
Cheers |
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 3rd July 2008 |
I enjoyed it, especially:
'The long robed priests don’t walk but glide
The nuns just wheel them in
They move like big black Daleks
Exterminating sin.'
|
Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 3rd July 2008 |
| I liked your poem Jane. Yes, perhaps the rhythm could do with a few tweaks (and you know there is no offence in this remark) - but the words under the rhythm are fabulous. I also laughed at the Marys and the nuns. I have some nuns living at the back of my home. It is convent grounds, but they are all retired and we seldom see them. But one Irish nun from there used to come over to see me and always had jokes to tell me (quite clean ones though, ha ha). They are quite nice ladies, but it is the nuns who are being wheeled around usually. |
Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 3rd July 2008 |
Evocative piece, Jane. Something I picked up - that may not be there - was the whole experience almost inducing a childlike state. Purgatory revisited!
Liked very much.
Phil |
Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 3rd July 2008 |
Evocative piece, Jane. Something I picked up - that may not be there - was the whole experience almost inducing a childlike state. Purgatory revisited!
Liked very much.
Phil |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 3rd July 2008 |
Oh, it was there,Phil, it was there in spades! Well spotted
And thanks to the others I didn't think it deserved those responses |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (595 comments posted) 3rd July 2008 |
I loved "God's gothic bouncers". Very much came over like a childhood experience remembered. Putting Jamie Burke in made it feel authentic and specific.
Really enjoyed the poem.
V |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (595 comments posted) 3rd July 2008 |
I loved "God's gothic bouncers". Very much came over like a childhood experience remembered. Putting Jamie Burke in made it feel authentic and specific.
Really enjoyed the poem.
V |
My line
Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 3rd July 2008 |
... for sheer brilliance is God’s gothic bouncers, glaring down at me.
And I keep thinking of who might be classed as in between virgin and whore .
As one who avoids religion and has done so since the age of six or so I cannot comment as other practitioners have done.
As a teacher /critic I could nitpick at some of the rough edges -- but it is not a worthwhile exercise in this case -- I will merely say that as you have demonstrated before , you are highly capable of writing both poetry and verse -- and should give up your tendency to self deprecation and get out there and strut your stuff !!!
patterjack
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Written by Emmuttmax (161 comments posted) 3rd July 2008 |
| Outstanding work; you have deftly captured the "religious experience" of many a child. |
Written by mia_ms_kim (976 comments posted) 4th July 2008 |
Really enjoyed. I have to agree with everyone. This is quite brilliant. I can't point out all the lines I liked, or I will just paste the whole thing in!
Actually as an oriental Christian, I'm gobsmacked to find out there is (or has been) so much importance placed on ceremony in the wesern church, Catholic or Protestant, in recent history. I thought it only happened in the medieval ages. Strangely enough, in Korea, where most of the older religions have placed great emphasis on form eg. clothing, buildings, sculpture, religious tools etc etc, Christianity has developed with very little form.
I'm puzzled that the west with its tendency towards square-headed thinking, went the other way in religion. This is quite an education for me.
Mia  |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 4th July 2008 |
"I thought it only happened in the medieval ages"
Yes, Mia but what ,makes you think anything has changed since then. For the Catholic Church that was just yesterday.You have an interesting perspective on religion.
Remember the Spanish [Catholic]Inquisition lasted over 300years until 1834 and that's not middle ages!!
Thanks eveyone for your overly generous comments
jane |
Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 4th July 2008 |
Particularly liked the dalek reference, and also:
'The sly cash dealing and the Guinness
They stoically ignore.'
You've captured the atmosphere of the event and created some great images, laced with plenty of dark, biting humour.
Very much enjoyed.
Ben |
Written by Robru (204 comments posted) 9th July 2008 |
I like the humour in this. I am not a church goer, never have been, but my rare experiences have been written here. Thoroughly enjoyed this poem.
Cheers
Bob |
Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 10th August 2008 |
Brilliant; The whole piece, but especially "God’s gothic bouncers" and " They move like big black Daleks exterminating sin." Wonderfully original.
I remember church mainly as quite boring, as it seemed our priests had already given up the young and all stories and interpretations focused on elderly people. No wonder the churches in the Netherlands are getting empty! |
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