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| The S.K.A.R. Club | |
| By Nick | ||||||||||||
| 04 July 2008 | ||||||||||||
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Was thinking about developing this into a longer story but wanted to get some opinions first to see if it was worthwhile. So Comments as always much appreciated. “Welcome all, to our annual meeting. For those of you who don't know, I'm the president of our exclusive little club. Jack's the name but you can all grovel at my feet a call me prez. Only kidding, we're not to formal round here.” Jack waits for the small crowd to fall silent before continuing. “Anyway onto business, I see we have a few new pledges this year. It's always an honour and a delight to see our numbers continue to rise. Young blood coming through to replace us oldies and uphold our traditions. Remember this club is not just for socialising but also to help mankind battle it's worst problems.” Cheers and applause ring out around the small hall. There are roughly 25 people including the president himself in the church. Jack continues with his well planned speech. “I must take this time to thank Pastor Ted for the use of his lovely little church and for the coffee and biscuits he's provided. Also we must applaud him for the work he's done over the last year. Especially all the homeless he took care of.” Again clapping breaks out and Pastor Ted looks a little embarrassed but also very proud. “Now, now quieten down, we don't have much time and we've got lots to get through. First order of business and of course the most important bit – our new recruits. I see 4 new members, good, good. Can you stand over at the side and take your sponsors with you. Dennis, are you one of the sponsors?” “Yeah Jack, I'm proud to present Dennis jnr., my son. He's going to make me so proud. He's still young but he knows his stuff and he's more imaginative than I'll ever be.” “Okay fine, please take him over with the other inductee's. Now as you will all be aware we have 3 tests you need to pass to be allowed membership to this prestigious club. These tests have been performed since the formation of our club back in the sixties. Even Grand Master Gacy had to take and pass the tests. The first is the D.A.L. Test, the second is Trial by Fire and of course the third and final test and everyone's favourite: the R.A.M. Round. “Can I assume since the pledges are here tonight that they have passed all the tests?” In unison all the sponsors reply “Yes President Jack, all tests taken and completed.” “Okay good stuff. Dennis why don't you and your son step forward and tell us how Jnr. passed each test.” “Thanks Jack, Well I'm pleased to say my son passed all the tests with flying colours and I personally feel he excelled himself on the last test but I shall start at the beginning.” Dennis looks at his son with the pride only a father can feel for his first born son. He gives Jnr. a quick pat on the back and turns back to the crowd to continue. “The D.A.L. test was not a problem for Jnr. He is, after all, a dead animal lover and what's more he's been torturing small animals since he was 7 years old. If you would care to examine the contents of this box you will see a squirrel that has been tortured and mutilated before being beheaded. Mmm I'm not actually sure where it's heads gone, oh well it'll be here somewhere.” The sound of clapping fills the hall and a few encouraging remarks like “nice one son” and “great work lad”. “Moving swiftly onto the Trial by Fire, you must all remember the 3 story building that was set ablaze last month down on Maple street, well that was Jnr. and as an added bonus several pets were burned alive and an old man suffered some severe burns to his hands and feet.” The small hall erupts in applause again, with several 'Oprah' style whoops. “And of course the final test. The Rape and Murder round. As I've already said he past expectations on this one. I've also got a treat for you tonight, I know it's customary to take pictures as proof of the test but I not only have pictures but video footage.” The cheers and applause almost hits deafening level. Jack raps on the wooden podium to get everyone to be silent. “Thanks Jack. Now as I was saying we can all view the film later on, but for now I'm passing round the pictures of the woman that help us successfully complete this round. As you can see Jnr. made one hell of a mess of her. I'm not even sure what I'm looking at in some of the photos. There are a good few pictures that are just blood, brains and sinew.” Fighting almost breaks out as the club members try to get a look at the pictures, once again Jack has to restore order. “Now, now people. Please calm down, there will be plenty of time later for all this carry on. For now I would just like to congratulate Dennis jnr. on the great work he's done on his tests and I'm sure we'll all look forward to hearing about his future adventures.” With a wide smile and a twinkly in his eyes, President Jack says: “Dennis Jnr., welcome to the Serial Killer and Rapist club.”
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...Had lots of fun reading this. In fact there indeed is a Rape Club in Japan I believe where members (guys) invite girls for dinner, chose a target, sedate and then do the obvious to that girl, one by one. Anyway, coming back to the story, dark and twisted - always good. There are certain typos right through the piece, that you might wanna go through and edit. More on characters and setting will jazz this piece up even more. Just a little about how Junior looked and how Jack looks. The church - big? paintings? seating? chairs? people? etc etc, you know the drill.
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