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In sober moments or in drunken days
Time, that master thief, still cheers his prize.
I won't respect your grave with sombre flowers,
Halcyon memories are my only wreath;
That wicked wit that laid so many low,
The warmth in both your laugh and in your deeds,
Words that flowed, and countless drinks we shared,
The promises of life in every hour.
Crouched beside your headstone, now, I smile.
Why not? For I can still fill up my glass.
My only prayer is that it was worthwhile;
The time you found to be a friend of mine.
And talk of you occasionally haunts the bars
Affirming that your grave's impersonal. |
Up There, Brett!
Written by Katanga (1698 comments posted) 6th July 2008 | I think this is right up there with your very best, if not beyond.
I had to read it several times and seek the revered Joanna's wise interpretation, but now I feel I've 'got it' hook, line and sinker.
It's breathtakingly good - one that I shall savour for ever.
Trouble is, it reads like it's true, which saddens me on your behalf . . .
Much respect.
Happily humbled . . .
John
| Unrhymed sonnet ?
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 6th July 2008 | But the formal aspect does not count at all-- because here the thought and emotion come through forcefully and unrestricted .
Good work , affectingly sincere
patterjack |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (794 comments posted) 6th July 2008 | This sounds like one of the eleven o'clock club who is no longer with us. A very straightforwardly direct tribute.
"halcyon memories are my only wreath" was a good line.
nice one
V |
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 7th July 2008 | 'And talk of you occasionally haunts the bars
Affirming that your grave's impersonal.'
Those last lines make it for me. I'm not sure exactly what it means in this context: 'impersonal', but it leaves a haunting note that rings.
also liked:
'Crouched beside your headstone, now, I smile.
Why not? For I can still fill up my glass.'
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Written by Phil (7169 comments posted) 7th July 2008 | Admire this very much, Brett. So much so that I keep retuning to it.
Brian has it - affectingly sincere.
I guess there's little we can give to the dead - but if words are our thing - the least we can do is pay tribute in this way. Not meant to sound all high and mighty - just a thought. I guess he lives on a little longer in your poem.
Phil | Says it all -
Written by Katanga (1698 comments posted) 7th July 2008 | Phil's comment.
John |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 7th July 2008 | With the above reviewers. It's strangely affecting. I wonder if it's because one senses a deeper layer of emotion in the poem despite the understated way it is written. Nathan already mentioned my favourite lines. "fill up my glass" suggests to me that the poet considers his life's cup has been full because of the friendship he'd shared with the one who's now gone. The poet's prayer touches deep something within - that our time is the only real gift we have to give to anyone, and it is given to those who are precious to us. Impersonal grave seems to have layered meaning - the friend is alive in their memory so they don't give emphasis to the grave, they do not believe in afterlife so what they shared is what they treasure etc.
Very very touching.
Mia  | Thanks very much to...
Written by Brett (1113 comments posted) 7th July 2008 | Tolstoy - Very kind words. My regards to the revered Joanna!
patterjack - yes, I had written this as a sonnet, initially, but the rhymes felt trite, and I didn't think they did justice (in fact I still don't think the piece does justice to my friend).
Veronica - true! He was a member, but usually didn't turn up until about 11.45 - always late, though not as late as he is now!
Rob - Thank you. The context of 'impersonal' Mia has explained in her review.
Phil - Always grateful for your comments - this friend has been dead for eight years, this is the first piece that I have been (nearly) satisfied with about my feelings towards the loss of him. I wish I could write something more personal about the man himself - though if I did it would have to be comedy!
Mia - Perceptive as always. I liked your analysis of the "fill up my glass" line - not necessarily what I had in mind, but your reading has touched me. Of course your interpretation of the grave being 'impersonal' was correct.
Thank you for your kind words and time.
Cheers |
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