"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," she said, bored, into the screen.

  "How long has it been since your last confession, my child?" asked a hidden priest.

  Eris pulled out a package of Marlboro cigarettes from her leather jacket's left pocket and a box of matches, strike-anywhere, from the right. "I don't know, Father," she replied, slipping out a cigarette and placing it between her lips. "Never." She struck the match on the wall of the confessional and lit up.

  The priest coughed and asked, "And what have you done?"

  Tossing the spent match to the floor, she muttered, "Many things."

  A beat.

  "Care to elaborate?"

  Eris sighed. "I've used the Lord's name in vain since I was four years old, maybe younger. At six, I punched a kid who sat next to me in class in the face, just because he was bugging me. Seven, I told my first grade teacher to go to hell. I've lied,religiously, since then. Pun intended. When I was nine, I stole money from my mother's purse. Once I hit thirteen, I began worshipping Satan. Fourteen, nothing at all.

  "Skip along a decade, you'll find me here. I've killed hundreds of men and two women. I use sex to get what I want and, speaking of, I slept with a priest two days ago."

  Silence came from the other side of the screen. It lasted for at least two minutes, maybe more. Eris waited, occasionally sucking on her cigarette. Impatience finally won. "Surprised?" she asked innocently.

  She heard a groan. "I told you not to come to me at work," whispered the priest.

  "But I missed you," she said with a girlish giggle, not meaning a word of it.

  "You can't do this, Lilith. I'm a God-damn priest! People can see you here! I mean, they aren't so stupid that they can't put two and two together. And..."

  Eris tuned him out. He had called her Lilith. She always loved that name. The name of Adam's first wife. She was made of the same soil he was and wanted to be treated that way. But Adam thought he was better. Conventional testosterone poisoning. Lilith wasn't too happy about being treated like a servant. So they both went to God and tattled. But the judge's verdict was in favor of the defendant, Adam. In return, Lilith left and gave birth to the world's demons by seducing men in their sleep and screwing them there. Lilith, the world's first sucubus.

  You would think a priest could "put two and two together."

  But back to earth.

  "Besides, haven't you realize that people can hear you? These things aren't exactly sound proof!" He hadn't figured out that she stopped listening at "stupid."

  "Haven't you realized that people can hear you?" Eris retorted. "No matter how low your vicious whisper may be..."

  Shocked silence. Then, "Lilith..."

  She heard the door from the next booth open, close, two footsteps, someone grabbing the handle to her booth. She tried her best to look elegantly indifferent rather than the homicidal sociopath that she was. The door opened and she caught a glimpse of the near empty church before a handsome man with a white collar stooped to get into her stall.
  "Lilith," he said again.

  His short, combed-back hair was a light golden color, as were his eyes. Standing straight, he would be about six feet and two inches tall. He was roughly one hundred and seventy pounds, but it was all muscle. That was mostly because, when he was not giving a sermon or taking confession, he was always in the gym. Any idiot could see that he did not adhear to his vows; no celebate man would work to look good. They did not have to, anymore.

  His name was Martin.
  I say "was" because-- well, after one dies, one no longer needs a name.
  Martin closed the door behind him and bent down to Eris' level. "You know it's nothing personal, right?" he asked, his eyes full of angst. "It's just that if the others knew, then they would know that I didn't fulfill my vows and I couldn't be a priest anymore. And you know how much that means to me. I love doing God's work, love helping people."
  Eris knitted her brows, pursed her lips, and nodded. "I understand," she replied. She knew he saw what he would think was the epitome of loving concern when, really, she was trying not to laugh.
  He smiled and moved so his lips met hers. His eyes closed as he kissed her passionately. Her eyes did not. Her mouth moved as if on auto-pilot. She was not enjoying the kiss in the least bit. It was just a part of her job, just like a delivery man having to get out of the truck is a part of his job.

  The kiss broke long enough for him to breathe and say, "Your kisses kill me."

  She turned what she had wanted to be cynical laughter into another girlish giggle.

  Grinning again, he kissed along her right jaw line and down her neck. "Forgive me, Lilith, for I have sinned," he chuckled into her neck.

  Eris tilted her head to the left and sighed. She particularly enjoyed the kissing. But all good things must come to an end. "When was your last confession, my child?" she asked with slight sarcasm.

  "Two days ago," he muttered, giving her collarbone two soft kisses that left her breathless. He was quite good. God, if only she did not have to kill his lips.

  "And, in those two days, what have you done?"

  "I have had illicit fantasies of a certain parishioner and I'm about to carry one of them out," he whispered.

  That was her cue. With such speed that it did not even seem like she moved, Eris pulled out an AMT Hardballer, cocked it, and place the muzzle underneath his chin. "Is that all you have done?"

  The kisses stopped instantaneously and he jerked backwards like one would do if they were trying to run. He would have been able to if Eris had not decided to tightly wrap her legs around his thighs. "Lilith," he said again, but this time it was a plea. His eyes flicked all over the booth, like an animal trapped in a cage.

  "I said," she continued, pushing the muzzle harder against his chin, "is that all you have done?"

  He swallowed, causing the gun to move a little. "I--I don't think that this is the way---"

  "Way to what?" she challenged.

  "T--to," he paused. "There are people! You wouldn't kill someone in public, would you?" His gaze met hers and his eyes widened in fear. "Would you?"

  She smiled. "What else have you done, Father? What other sins have you committed? You know that a word you say will not be uttered outside of this cozy little room. Not that it would matter. It's already written down in multiple files that you will never see."

  "Lilith," he begged.

  She ignored him and continued. "What were you doing on, oh... March 14 of this year? You know, when the youth group went to Disneyland, the happiest place on Earth, and stayed overnight. I believe thirteen kids went, which means one child had a room to themself. Actually, herself. Twelve year old Amy Watson, to be exact."

  "Please, stop."

  "And at approximately eleven o'clock that night, one of the youth advisors slipped into the room. He had a key to every room. In case of emergencies. But there was no emergency that night, was there? No. The only emergency was that this youth counselor had a thing for little Amy and he couldn't stand keeping his hands off of her."

  "No more! Please, no more!"

  "Did she cry, Martin? Did she beg for you to stop? Because, if she did, you should be doing the same right now." With her heels, she kicked him behind the knees and forced him onto them. "You should be begging for my mercy because, to you-- at this moment-- I am as close to God as you are going to get."

  "Lilith!"

  "That," she spat, "is not my name! But let's take a look at yours. Did you know that Martin means strong, friendly, and wise? Of course you did. But did you also know it's a lie? That's right. It's a lie. You are not strong. If you were, you wouldn't have gone against your vows. You are not friendly. If you were, you would not have taken that twelve year old's innocence. And you are not wise. If you were wise, you would have seen this coming."

  Eris spun him around so he was sitting against the wall. She reached into the front pocket of his coat for the Bible she knew was there and placed it against the Hardballer's muzzle. Then, she pressed them both against his throat and fired.

The bullet shot through the holy book and Martin's throat, severing his wind pipe.
  While he sat there, fighting to breathe, Eris lit another cigarette and puffed on it a couple times.

  "By the way," she said, blowing smoke in his face, "I'm Eris, the goddess of chaos and discord. Nice to meet you."