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Lines to be mumbled by the stagnant creek |
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By patterjack
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07 July 2008 |
This is an accompaniment to Discussion ( vide )
Lines to be mumbled by the stagnant creek
Accompaniment to Discussion
Why should I pretend? and breathe the sigh, I love you?
I will not even try to deliver the thought like that!
You've heard for yourself far too often just what
you want to hear - around, below and above you.
Why must I sing for you songs that are out of tune
while knowing that I simply do not have the voice?
But it seems that you are leaving me no choice,
seeking choruses too trite, words that are just jejune.
Why is there this grudging tribute I must pay?
a pact demanded to which I must agree?
I suppose I have to, reluctant though I may be.
Yet will it then suffice at the end of the day?
Why must you always play the harlot's role
forever seeking every kind of praise,
demanding I admire your wanton, wanton ways
divesting me of the honour that you stole?
My credit is blown away to the wind's four quarters
with what had remained of a life you have destroyed
by shattering it with the ruses you employed.
I will take recourse in the dead creek's oily waters.
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Lordy!
Written by Katanga (1698 comments posted) 6th July 2008 | This sounds bitter, patterjack! I'm at a loss.
Seems strong but too personally painful for me to comment on.
I shall re-read and maybe I'll get the point . . .
Cheers!
John | Bitter ?
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 6th July 2008 | Yes . But I assure you , fortunately not very personal in its strict connotations .
Thank you for reviewing
patterjack |
Written by Phil (7169 comments posted) 7th July 2008 | One to ponder - especially after reading your comment above. While the last was beguiling - this one is a little standoffish. Not a crit. Just an admission that I'll need to think some more.
There is a bitterness here - and it does seem personal - perhaps I'm missing a metaphor along the way.
The title and the tone of what follows fits the theme - or what little of it you have revealed (not asking) - really well. The piece reads as if this has haunted you for years. Almost like a one sided conversation where no answer is expected - the subject not even being there. It brings to mind (almost) another piece - I think it may be a film. That damned presque vu again!
Phil | to the point
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 7th July 2008 | The piece reads as if this has haunted you for years. Almost like a one sided conversation where no answer is expected - the subject not even being there.
Percipient Phil -- it all began 60 years ago -- and there is a strong element of frustration underlying the piece as well.
Having decided to try to get it out of my system , I keep failing to do so-- result -- as you see above.
Threat ! there may be more 
patterjack |
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