Despite the fact that 99.9% of limericks written are meant to be funny, and usually descend into the lewd or the vulgar in their content, it remains a legitimate verse form, and is related to some quite serious forms. So
lightheartedly, I present some verse where three conjoined limericks make a nevertheless serious commentary poem. I think the metre etc. is exact .
Gloomy Limerick Poem
Man is trapped by the ambush of fate.
His years rush on by in full spate,
and death's an event
that he cannot prevent,
for, deep in mankind, it's innate.
And so he may strongly debate
or the outcome of all, deprecate;
he may loudly dissent
that his time's not yet spent
but it's Time that at last will dictate.
Although he may not know the date
inscribed for his death on Time's slate
that final descent
he cannot circumvent
but joins part of Death's lasting estate.
|
Fascinating!
Written by Katanga (1497 comments posted) 11th July 2008 |
A fascinating experiment. PJ! Yes, your metre strikes me as faultless, and your meaning is superbly expressed.
However, and this is in no way a criticism, I can't help feeling that the serious content does not sit comfortably with the 'bouncy' rhythm of limrick form, which may account for your 99.9% comment in the intro.
What I find really interesting is whether this is due to some sort of 'cultural conditioning' and what we've simply been led to expect from a limerick, or is there some deep psycholinguistic reason to do with what titillates our neurons, as it were?!
Or is it a mixture of socio- and psycholinguistic reasons?
The solution is beyond the power of yours truly, a bear of little brain.
I would really appreciate comments on this from people with superior insight. Your good self or FP for instance?
Cheers!
John |
Agree ...
Written by patterjack (1429 comments posted) 11th July 2008 |
... ... generally with what you say Katanga. There are indeed poems preceding the modern limerick form ( don't ask for examples lol ) but apparently going back to the 14th century. It was , as I understand , popularised by Edward Lear.
I think the simple form and the bouncy metre do indeed push one into humour -- but what I found interesting was that when I began the exercise , I was using lines with many more syllables ( whole sequences of anapaests ) than are to be found in the usual limerick. Now they had a serious tone !
I therefore pruned the lines back to what is the supposedly usual regular metre -- so that they went back to what you call bouncy ( and I agree it is )
Once I got that metre established , I had to be very careful to avoid humour in the tone of the material .
As a sort of tailed rhyme became popular , and which was mostly satiric in tone , its closeness to the limerick probably had an effect in training us to look in that direction.
Either way , I am happy with it all -- remembering a version of The Inferno in limerick form .
patterjack |
Written by punchy (533 comments posted) 11th July 2008 |
Interesting stuff, i've never read a serious limerick before and it works very well. I like it when what would otherwise be a slightly bleak or depressing subject is lightened through the skippy up beat rhythm.
P x |
Then...
Written by patterjack (1429 comments posted) 11th July 2008 |
... I failed , Paula -- because I was hoping that the form would not detract from the content by making it lighter
Oh well , you can't win 'em all !   |
Written by punchy (533 comments posted) 11th July 2008 |
You didn't fail, it was probably the way i read it aloud in my insanely cheerful voice.
i do find the most dark and sad things funny, it's a wiring fault in my genes.
 |
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 11th July 2008 |
Echoing Katanga's comments, you can't help wondering if cultural conditioning led us to expect a serious tone (i.e. if that 99.9% was reversed) then the same would arise with the odd humourous limerick.
As it is, I found that for the first few readings the expectation of the form did distract and detract, but the more time you spend with these verses, the more they work on their own terms. The form and content are not entirely at odds as you're capturing the feel of years rushing by, and the inevitable 'punch line' of death.
Interesting, and I'd quite like to see your earlier exercise involving whole sequences of anapaests. |
Between age...
Written by patterjack (1429 comments posted) 11th July 2008 |
... and its dread accompaniment , Alzheimer's , I cannot remember from one day to the next , Nathan, what poems I have written , let alone lines that I have discarded !!!!
I perhaps could rewrite and try anew , but .....
Thanks for the thoughtful review. I gather that the original tone of the form -- serious--> satirical --> comic , with hundreds of the easy limerick form being written , it , like Topsy , just growed into the humorous approach which we now anticipate .
patterjack |
interesting experiment
Written by fellpony (1702 comments posted) 12th July 2008 |
| I applaud the sustained rhyming of just two sounds (-ate and -ent) throughout. I find the limerick inescapably comic, but there are also many truths best expressed in comic writing and jokes. Not that I'm saying this IS comic, but the rhythm is bouncy and that turns the mind to comedy. I think it is inherent in the rhythm. In a curious way it is effective both in spite and because of the bounciness - expressing the tension between Man's will and his knowledge of the inevitability of Death! |
convinced...
Written by patterjack (1429 comments posted) 12th July 2008 |
..or at least I think I am , that the limerick form can no longer provide the reader with the serious-- unless it is satirical. It was a fair enough try on my part , I hope .
Thank you for the last part of that comment , FP , because it does offer a pleasant sop to my vanity!
patterjack |
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 16th July 2008 |
Gloomy is OK. I hope to write many a gloomy poem in the near future.
The subject matter is fine - sort of in the mood of Bernard O'Donoghue's "Going Without Saying" turned inwards:
It is a great pity we don't know
When the dead are going to die
So that, over a last companionable
Drink, we could tell them
How much we liked them
Happy the man who, dying, can
Place his hand on his heart and say:
"At least I didn't neglect to tell
The thrush how beautifully she sings"
Also somehow Raymond Carver's "Gravy".
The limerick form doesn't worry me. Nice to experiment with different forms/themes to see what mutates.
Oli |
future gloom ?
Written by patterjack (1429 comments posted) 16th July 2008 |
Thanks Oli .
I had to choose a gloomy subject to try to prove that the form is not necessarily devoted to the comic , but I get the feeling that it was not an entirely successful venture !
I hope you yourself are not forced into , or committed to , gloom in the future .
patterjack |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3557 comments posted) 16th July 2008 |
I think you have shown that the Limerick is first and foremost a story in miniature rather than just a silly rhyme. It has to be complete in itself and with a resolved ending as well as following the correct format. That is the real trick to writing a limerick, it's why they work. Thank you for pointing that out to me so clearly. These were wonderfully gloomy but also strangely moving; the more so for the format they were in.
They really make you sit up and take notice.
cheers
jane |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 16th July 2008 |
This is fascinating. I had no idea what limerick was, so I had no expectation or prejudices. I normally only look at the content. But there is that rhyme and the beat that turns this serious and dark subject into something lighter, and makes one think at a different angle because of that contradiction between the form and the content. How interesting! I think the form takes the sting out of the content so one can think about the subject without being overshadowed by its inherent darkness.
Mia  |
addictive too...
Written by patterjack (1429 comments posted) 16th July 2008 |
... as well as fascinating , Mia. There was a time when it was a fun function to compose them often -- relevant to topical events , domestic or familial -- but one can overdo a good thing ! especially with the familial !!
Pleased that you felt that the form takes the sting out of the content
See my reply to Oli.
Thanks for an interesting review.
patterjack |
A story in miniature!
Written by patterjack (1429 comments posted) 16th July 2008 |
Now that, Jane, is something that had never occurred to me --at least not in those succinct terms . So we have each learned something !
Thank you for that and for the nice things you said about it
patterjack |
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