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Poetry
Garbled History
By Turquoise-Tangerine
11 July 2008
The bare bones of an idea; still very much a work in progress.



'Twas the eve of battle that good King Harold
didst summon his knights unto the table round and said:
"Let's have no idle tittle-tattle of impending defeat,
we'll quaff fine mead and feast on roasted boar, instead."

*

Now old King Harold was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he,
yet he'd riled young William of Normandy, so they didn't see eye to eye.
He'd thieved a sword from the lady of the lake, had corked the wine and burnt the cake,
baked twenty-four blackbirds in a pie, so they didn't see eye to eye,
alas, they didn't see eye to eye.

*

'Twas the eve of the battle, in the middle of the night, Harold called for his fiddlers three,
 and once every fiddler had fiddled him fine he went for a stroll by the sea.
Beneath white cliffs on golden sands, the faithful knelt to wash his feet.
By his command, with wave of hand, the mighty waves turned in retreat.

*

Now old King Harold was a brave old soul who
had ten thousand men,
he marched them up to the top of a hill to face the raging storm.
Far down below, young William rode, a kingdom was his yen,    
by his command the ranks advanced, enraged and hurling scorn. 

*
 
Then youthful Will' marched up the hill, marched up the hill did he,
and all Harold's horses and all Harold's men couldn't best the son of Normandy.
So Harold shall turn the tides no more, for he's buried in a grave beside the shore,
whilst young Will' sits upon the throne; that's one in the eye for thee, dear Harold,
that's one in the eye for thee.
 

Reviews
I see ...
Written by fellpony (1608 comments posted) 12th July 2008
... I think! Are you aiming (pardon the pun) to produce a competitor for the old monologue where we hear: "sat 'Arold with an eyeful of arrow | On 'is 'orse, with 'is 'awk on 'is 'and"? 
 
I rather like the repetition of the phrases at the ends of stanzas 2 and 5. 
 
Metrically and rhyme-wise it's a touch ragged (you say it's a work in progress so I won't go on about it as you probably know that). Some odd spellings/typos you might want to address: "knelt to wash his feat", "went for a strole", "Normady".  
 
Mixing Old King Cole, Alfred and Harold is ambitious indeed and possibly very confusing! I think it could poke more fun at the various Royals of history. Can you get a bit more of Arthur in there? What about Richard the Lionheart who only spent a few months in England although he was King? What about the Two Charlies? and possibly a jibe at Prince Charles by suggesting another "young Will" will sit on the throne before he will?  
 
PS Willy Conq was 39 when he landed so really not all that young.

Written by Turquoise-Tangerine (95 comments posted) 14th July 2008
fellpony, thanks for pointing out my silly spelling mistakes. That's what happens when you are trying to write at work with a boss who likes to 'stick his nose round the door' when you least expect him to. 
As for Will's age, you may have guessed from the title that I was not aiming for historical accuracy. After all, is there any proof to support the claim that old King Cole was a merry old soul? However, I suppose it's qute possible that he may have been a merry old sole or even a cheerful halibut. 
 
Cheers, 
turk. 

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