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Poetry
Doesn't Remind Me
By SplatterpunkShelbs
13 July 2008
My best friend flat-out hated this one because of the repetition. I wrote it as a song, and I actually wrote music to it! Well, I tried, anyway. I had to get one of my friends who actually has some sense of rhythm to help me....

anywho...

 Hope you all like it a little more than my buddy.

I see you ride away in his car,
And it doesn't remind me of anything.
You can stay right where you are,
Because you don't remind me of anything.

I see you sleeping in his bed,
And it doesn't remind me of anything.
You hear my voice swim within your head,
But it doesn't remind you of anything,
No it doesn't remind me of anything.

After all the memories we shared,
I realized you never cared,
So I let the memories go,
Now you're someone I don't know.

I see you kiss her on the lips,
And it doesn't remind me of anything.
I feel the brush of your fingertips,
but it doesn't remind me of anything.

Maybe you'll go somewhere far away,
but it won't remind me of anything.
I could never convince you to stay,
So you can't remind me of anything,
No you can't remind me of anything.

You fell deeper and deeper down,
I couldn't find a way around,
So I cut my ties with you,
Because you weren't the man I knew.

I found some pictures in your old room,
But they don't remind me of anything.
I left a rose lying by your tomb,
But it wouldn't remind you of anything.

As I stare at the cold night sky,
It doesn't remind me of anything.
The spot by me where you used to lie,
doesn't remind me of anything.

I waited for the days to pass,
until I saw you breathe your last,
So I had to let our memories die,
And in the ground with your body lie.

Reviews
Poem or Song?
Written by Katanga (1389 comments posted) 13th July 2008
Hi Shelby! 
 
I really like this, but I sympathise with your buddy! 
 
It's possibly better as a song - I would love to hear you sing it! 
 
Sorry, but there are a couple of typos: 
 
Stanza 2, line 3 ' . . . voice swin within . . . ' sing? 
 
Stanza 7, line 3 ' . . . I left a rose laying by your tomb . . .' 
 
'laying' should strictly be 'lying', but then again, look at Dylan's 'Lay Lady Lay'. The distinction is, I think, disappearing! 
 
Enjoyed! 
 
Cheers! 
 
John X
ghaa
Written by SplatterpunkShelbs (37 comments posted) 13th July 2008
i always have trouble with lay/lie. 
 
and as soon as the song is finished I'll try and put a video up somewhere. it's coming along slowyl, I warn you....
Great!
Written by Katanga (1389 comments posted) 13th July 2008
Please let me know how to access it as and when . . . 
 
I have been warned! 
 
Ah, 'swim' not 'sing' - silly me, mush better! 
 
Cheers! 
 
John X

Written by Nick (163 comments posted) 15th July 2008
Hey Shelby, 
 
I don't normally comment on poetry as I don't know the first thing about it but as these are lyrics I feel I am slightly more qualified. 
 
I do like the lyrics but would really need to hear the song to say if they work or not. Repetition of phrases within songs can be tricky. Sometimes it can be boring but other times they can make a song catchy and memorable.  
 
The downside to lyrics is that it's always the music that make the lyrics and not the other way around. 
 
Would be interested to hear the song though. 
 
Nick

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