This was inspired by NathanRoberts' use of simple nouns to represent complex / difficult actions. Please see his excellent 'A Further Distance', posted on 15th July this year, where he writes 'The handle. A hand.' to show us the equivalent of the prosaic 'I opened the garage door', or similar.
This is nothing on his, but he has encouraged me to experiment, and that, surely, is partly why we are are all here?!
Comments much appreciated!
Cheers!
John X
Snapshots
A glance, a word, a kiss,
a going out, an engagement,
a marriage.
For us, all these were ours for sharing.
A row, a hit, a miss,
a falling out, an argument,
a miscarriage.
For me, all these are worth repairing.
For you?
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Written by Josie (2849 comments posted) 20th July 2008 | | Well done John. Simply put, but to the point. I would say the answer to your question is "Yes" for everyone goes through ups and downs, and it is learning to get through them which is the most important. No relationship is roses all the way. If anyone tells you the opposite, they are not telling the truth. | Thank you, Josie!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 20th July 2008 | I think that for most of us, it's a case of "been there, done that!"
For me, poetry is a way of expressing a shared feeling, individually and separately - after all, we all fear that our feelings of loss and separation are unique, perhaps mistakenly?
Ultimately, I think each dividual's experience of a commonality is indeed unique, but unless that uniqueness is expressed, it will disappear into the sludge of the slough of despair. . . .
And so to bed . . . .
John X | individual's!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 20th July 2008 | As often happens, as soon as I try to pontificate in an adult way, I make a schoolboy typo . . .
Par for the course, methinks|?!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
John X (gone to the devil) | individual's!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 20th July 2008 | As often happens, as soon as I try to pontificate in an adult way, I make a schoolboy typo . . .
Par for the course, methinks|?!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
John X (gone to the devil) |
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 21st July 2008 | Hi John,
I think this is a wonderful little poem, and it's nothing to do with the fact you namecheck me in the intro (though thanks for the comments).
For what it's worth, I think what you're doing here is quite different to what I was trying to achieve in 'A Further Distance'. I was trying to capture one of those brief but highly significant and impacting moments of extreme trauma when your consciousness fragments, time slows down or works in strange ways and the whole body seems disconnected.
I think what your poem does is take a step back and survey an entire relationship, but in very simple almost objective terms. Or rather, it is an interesting and powerful mixture of simple, objective labels (the first and third stanzas) in contrast with two personal, subjective lines.
I really like it. | Kind indeed!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 21st July 2008 | Thank you Rob! You give me great motivation with this.
BTW I am still trying to put my finger on what I like about your 'The Missing' - clearly the imagery e.g. 'Under the rubble of a night dream', but I think it's the 'cinematic newsreel' element that makes it special - your movie-scene idea.
Cheers!
John |
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