There is an article in the March 2008 issue of the Atlantic monthly written by Lori

Gottlieb that makes a case for settling for Mr. Good-enough rather than Mr. right.

This article got the wife and I talking about our marriage and marriage in general.

I always said I would never get married. I didn’t want kids and never really liked

them much. I have grown more mature and a wee bit wiser. Even though I’ve only been in the married game for just under 4 years, I feel like I have an understanding of it that makes sense to me. I talked to many married people when my wife and I were engaged and they all seemed to make the same general observations, almost as if the speech were scripted. I knew I would find out for myself what it was all about and I did. “Being married with children is like being the owner of a very small, non-profit organization where all the employees are volunteers.” ,writes Ms. Gottlieb. That is something my wife and I know all too well. Besides being attracted to my wife physically and mentally, I could see what her relationship was like with her daughter and I was impressed with the mutual love and respect they shared. She has proven herself to be a great mother to our children everyday, even when she doesn’t feel like she is, and needs to be reminded. She is also a loving, caring mate. She proves herself to be a great wife on a daily basis too, even when she doesn’t feel like being married and needs to be reminded of it.

My family is compatible with each other.  The word compatible comes from the Latin

word compatior, which means to suffer with one, feel pity, have compassion.  I would hate to go through all the hard times of life with people I’m not compatible with in the Latin sense. I would truly lose it. We’re all in it together, for better or

worse. Since I’ve been married I have redefined for myself the words commitment and love. Since my youngest daughter was born, my life has been redefined in every aspect. My family is the only thing I have that I will allow myself to take any

pride in. That is not to say that I don’t take pride in my work, appearance, etc.

but I’m really indifferent to any praise or criticism associated with work or any

other aspect of my life.

Most people I know are either divorced or remarried or trying it for the 1st time.

Sometimes we get it right and sometimes we get post-it-notes for “dear John

letters”. I would never tell anyone they should or should not get married. I don’t

always like being married with children and I don’t always like my life in general.

Marriage isn’t really a cure for anything, you still have to live, struggle, suffer,

celebrate, love, work, play, and eat your vegetables, but marriage and fatherhood

has indeed improved me as a person if it hasn’t completely cured me.

And I can settle for that.