|
|
|
print friendly version
|
|
Bess the Baby Bat - a short story |
|
|
By 1211kellie
|
|
22 July 2008 |
Josie's challenge - a bat conservation story. Any comments good or bad much appreciated.
It was a warm and moonlit night, and high up in the roof of an old and derelict building a large family of bats were stirring from a very long and deep sleep. Slowly they stretched their wings, and one by one flew out through the empty windows into the stillness of the night to feed upon the insects that were flying around nearby.
One of the last bats to flutter out was a cute little baby bat whose name was Bess. She had only just learnt how to fly and was still quite wobbly. Bess was feeling very thirsty after her long sleep and flew over to the shimmering lake. She skimmed across the surface and gulped a mouthful of water. Bess then flew high up into the sky to see if she could find some tasty moths to fill her rumbling tummy.
A couple of hours passed and the bats started to return home, but when they arrived they saw that all the windows had been boarded up. Bess and the other bats were horrified. “What is happening?” Bess wondered.
One of the older bats was really angry. “Why do people keep doing this to us? We are friendly! All we want is a peaceful life and a nice dry home to sleep in.” Bess was very sad; she loved living there and didn’t want to move home.
Early the next morning a group of people surrounded the building and started to remove the boards from the windows. When the last board was removed they cheered loudly. They were all members of the local Bat Conservation Society. The building was now under their protection and the bats could return home.
So later that evening little Bess and her family flew with light and happy hearts as they foraged for their dinner, and when their tummies could eat and drink no more they flew back to their old and derelict building. Slowly, one by one, they turned themselves upside down, and it wasn’t long before all the bats were asleep.
If you love and care about bats and just happen to see a bat flying one night, it might be little Bess doing what she loves best! Stand still and listen really quietly. You might just hear her whisper “Thank you” as she flies past on her way back home.
|
Written by Josie (4035 comments posted) 24th July 2008 | | Absolutely lovely Kellie. What a wonderful story to get across to children the fact that bats are harmless little creatures who just want to share this planet with us, undisturbed - and they have every right to do so. In many countries, they eat the insects that would kill people - mosquitoes. They deserve our love!! |
Written by Josie (4035 comments posted) 24th July 2008 | | PS I have just noticed that your bat has little shoes on its feet. Whatever next? Imagine what the woman in the shoe shop said!!! |
Written by 1211kellie (185 comments posted) 24th July 2008 | Ha ha Josie, Yes she does and so does your giraffe. I bet that would have raised a few eyebrows - a giraffe going into a shoe shop!  | And so does . . .
Written by Katanga (4169 comments posted) 25th July 2008 | . . . my dragonfly, thanks to Josie's suggestion!
A friend has started an illustration, wearing ballet shoes! (the dragonfly, I mean, not the friend! Ha!)
Anyway, to the point, I think this is stunning, Kellie. I love the soft, flowing feel to your prose, full of rhythm and poetic elements of internal rhyme etc.
'flew . . . feed . . . flying' 'shimmering . . . skimmed' and so on.
Subtle, unobstrusive and gently calming.
And the added note at the end? Phwooooargh! Brought tears to my eyes, tha bit about Bess whispering "Thank you".
I'm a sucker for sentimental (but not overly, which this isn't) touches, and this did it for me.
Off to blow my nose!
Cheers!
John X |
Written by 1211kellie (185 comments posted) 25th July 2008 | A dragonfly with ballet shoes ha ha.
As always my sincere thanks to you both for all your encouragement and positive reviews.
Kellie xx  | Bats
Written by meadowcroft1964 (244 comments posted) 25th July 2008 | Hi kellie
I never been to keen on bats but I'll make a exception for bess as you have really brought her to life with your writing. I bet your children love having a mummy who writes such good stories. Keep up the good work. |
Written by 1211kellie (185 comments posted) 25th July 2008 | | Thanks Violet, I'm really pleased you enjoyed it. Yes, I think they will enjoy my stories especially when they get that little bit older. |
Written by Fledermaus (4146 comments posted) 26th July 2008 | | Nice little story. Somehow it seems like a bed-time story for very little kids... Funny picture too btw. |
Written by Josie (4035 comments posted) 26th July 2008 | | For Fledermaus: This would be the sort of bedtime story you should read with a name like the one you've chosen - "flying mouse". Kellie has a website and you can hear her read this story to you at bedtime. Kellie, this is really a delightful little story that I am sure every child would love. Well done! |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
Previous item
