Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Grace Of The Sun
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 964 guests online and 7 members online
Poetry
Grace Of The Sun
By ParadiseLost
25 July 2008
This is like the opposite of Is Paradise Lost? Showing the world's beauty in a sunset. I have some problems with it, and I'm condering rewriting. :)
Feedback Please :D

As the sun sets.
The sky is lit up with soft reds and fallacious yellows.
I’m lying here.
On the comfortable grass, in the beautifully preserved meadow.


I then look up.
Clouds of scarlet comfort the elegant, quiet countryside.
I have to smile.  
This sight has given me an uplifting feeling inside.


I just admire.
The green and golden fields glow in the angelic, graceful sun light.
I have to sway.
The grass is dancing alongside the cool breeze, waiting for the moonlight.


It’s time to rest.
The sun says, as it starts to descend into the distance.
Don’t want to breathe.
I’m afraid that it would ruin the poetic silence.


Seeing houses.
Scattered randomly across the freshly cut grassland.
There is a few.
So they can’t spoil my view of the whole land.


Flowers are near.
They add to unique moment, by giving off a sweet scent.
Modern colours.
Blend into the meadow, as though this is a flower show event.


Different feeling.
Is coming over me, because we refuse to take advantage of this beauty.
But I do know.
That the graceful sun is setting amazingly, just for me.


Getting darker.
As the sky is now a dimmer shade of blue.
I’m feeling cool.
As the wind blows behind me, as it is over due.

The sky is black.
With thousands of tiny white dots, seamlessly hanging from the night sky.
I then stare up.
Wishing it was this incredible in the middle of July.


There is nothing.
No cars, no people and no airborne machine flying over.
Just me alone.
Watching a clip of this world gradually getting better.


I want to sleep.
So I can capture this feeling of just me and this world.
I am asleep.
Feeling happy that I am not living in a dream world. 

Reviews
Great
Written by Hellcat (63 comments posted) 25th July 2008
Like it very much. 
 
Gave the reader a clear impression of your surroundings - must say, I like those evening in the country, far from everything. :)

Written by ParadiseLost (7 comments posted) 25th July 2008
Yeah I know, there is nothing like it, just you and nature.  
 
And thank you. :)

Written by 1211kellie (177 comments posted) 25th July 2008
Thought this was really good. Nothing better than being in the quiteness of the countryside far from the madding crowd. 
 
 
Kellie

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item