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Stainless!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 25th July 2008 |
Hello Brett!
Yes - Brilliant! So taut!
I won't attempt an 'interpretation' - it would be patronising and long.
Seriously good.
John |
Ambiguity?
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 25th July 2008 |
There's a lot here, to my mind . . .
Why not be staightforward, as in:
I've often thought that I should like
To be the saddle of a bike!
Yo! Ho! And so to bed!
John X |
Written by Brett (1002 comments posted) 25th July 2008 |
Tolstoy, you know that I am very rarely cryptic:
Ambiguity is a literal stunt
Making me a poetless...
Cheers |
Harumphhhhhh!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 25th July 2008 |
Not sure on all this - I think you had a point. Explaining would have been too gross . . . .
And then again, I'm getting confused with V.'s gardening sexual imagery . . . and Josie's guns. Help!
Ha! We can cope easily, methinks . . .
With the help f a few ales and the twisty spirally thing . . .
Cheers!
Katie! X |
Written by 1211kellie (177 comments posted) 25th July 2008 |
Excellent poem. Neat, tidy and simple.
Kellie |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 26th July 2008 |
Katie - was my Mahonia poem sexual? But then everything is to you! I think it was more about dogged resilience (and what's the twisty spirally thing?).
And this poem of yours, Brett, also seems to be a metaphor for something or someone who is more vulnerable than he or she makes out. A lot said in very few words. Nice work and well observed. I'd like to hear more blacksmith poems, just because I like people talking about work that I know nothing about. |
V - yes it was!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 26th July 2008 |
Very! And Brett is too much of a gentleman to 'elucidate', and so am I ! Ha! Ha!
You'd like to hear more 'blacksmith poems'? Me too, but not because I like people talking about work (God forbid), but because blacksmiths are by definition a turn-on - grimy, sweaty, muscular, steaming, poetic and so on.
Not that I'm that way inclined on a Saturday, if you get my drift. Oh ha, Veronica! Sorry! No offence, I hope?
BTW 'the twisty spirally thing' is the physical and metaphorical corkscrew that Brett and I pass between each other of an evening of poetic sweat.
I could email it to you too?
Cheers!
John X |
Written by ParadiseLost (7 comments posted) 26th July 2008 |
Wow.
I loved. Short, but powerful.
Amazing. |
Written by Brett (1002 comments posted) 26th July 2008 |
Thank you for your reviews - Tolstoy, your several reviews - and I am no gentleman, though I saw nothing as sexual as you in Veronica's poem - perhaps I should look...harder?
Kellie - Thank you for your kind words, though I think the poem trite and unworthy, I was drunk when posting it, I can't seem to write anymore, if ever I bloody could.
Veronice - yes there's a metaphor, but what else do you want? The anvil chorus?
Paradise Lost - short but powerful, there's another poem!
Cheers |
Written by Phil (7004 comments posted) 27th July 2008 |
Liked this. Good idea - well put.
I guess there are many blacksmithery metaphors you could develop. Most are probably more up John's alley! 
Phil |
Enjoyed
Written by fellpony (1751 comments posted) 27th July 2008 |
Brett, your self deprecation is unnecessary (I understand it may often be found in the bottom half of the bottle or jar). Craft skills can be both attractive and metaphorical - though I don't think you were being obscure here, there are other interpretations that might be added.
Hm, perhaps I ought to do something on harnessmaking (a craft at which I made my living for a considerable period). All those straps and buckles ... not to mention the saddles ... and the whips of those who sat in them or behind them. It might be comedy rather than poetry though  |
Written by Brett (1002 comments posted) 27th July 2008 |
Sue's straps, whips, and saddles! Sounds tidy!
And self deprecation is necessary!
Cheers
Phil - thanks, but I don't fancy placing a metaphor up John's alley.
Cheers |
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