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Poetry
egg
By punchy
27 July 2008

There lived a lonely frozen heart
Within a widows chest
And inbetween its ventricles
There lay a tiny nest
 
An egg beneath the layers sat
Too small and so ignored
That egg was made of happiness
And longed to be adored
 
It sat there still for many years
Anonymous and cold
It wondered why it wasn't felt
When it's essence was so bold
 
The owner of this egg felt sad
For many years she'd cried
But what she felt she'd never have
Was waiting there inside
 
She always hoped that love would come
And heal what she had lost
But every man that searched her heart
Was halted by her frost
 
But one day when she'd given in
And submitted to the cold
She took a look at who she was
And why she felt so old
 
She searched herself and faced her fears
Her memories, her past
And there it was beneath it all
She found the egg at last
 
It took some strength to let it hatch
The layers were removed
But warm and free that egg grew fast
And how her life improved 

Reviews

Written by Robru (272 comments posted) 26th July 2008
My heartfelt congratulations go out to you for this masterful piece. A recipe all of us could use to advantage.  
 
Just beautiful. WOW!
Simply wonderful.
Written by Brett (1002 comments posted) 27th July 2008
This deserves many rereadings, Paula, there are some beautiful lines disguised in their simplicity ; 'It took some strength to let it hatch' - fabulous. 
Cheers

Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 27th July 2008
This is a great image: 
 
"And inbetween its ventricles  
There lay a tiny nest" 
 
I liked this, it had a slightly fairy story feel to it. 
 


Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 27th July 2008
thankyou. I can only do simplicity. I just wish my mind was as simple as my intellect! 
Cheers for your kind words :grin
Incredible!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 27th July 2008
I am stunned by this, Paula! 
 
Truly amazing! 
 
Absolutely love it! 
 
I shall revisit and revisit! 
 
Bravo! 
 
Cheers! 
 
John X
nice one
Written by fellpony (1752 comments posted) 27th July 2008
Paula, is this another piece sparked by Clytemnestra's poem? We seem to have a trickle of "old woman" poems. (I'll pass over Katanga's favourite topic as a butt of a joke.)  
 
Simplicity has much merit in a genre that seems to lean heavily on obscurity and often, as you might expect, does a Del Boy Trotter and falls through. If simple is enough, be simple. Result.

Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 27th July 2008
wow thanks John x 
Fellpony thankyou also, I hadn't read Clytemnestras poem until you mentioned it, so was a complete coincidence. x

Written by Josie (2849 comments posted) 27th July 2008
 
I can't say much more than has been said already Paula. Your poem is wonderful. I also liked the idea of the little egg waiting to be hatched within the ventricles of her heart. Excellent work. Now I must think of an old woman's poem to keep up with you all. ha ha I actually don't like the thought of old and lonely, but I'll try.

Written by Phil (7007 comments posted) 27th July 2008
Enjoyed this one too, PP. I'm glad V got the fairy tale feel - I did too. 
 
Phil

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