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Shadow Puppets: Part the Forth (Warning - Ruff Draught)
By stevetroster
31 July 2008


Onward.

Some words.





It is 1998, and Timothy is five years old. He is sitting on a hard plastic chair in a white antiseptic room. Facing him, across a marble-topped table, is a white antiseptic man.
   A lipless mouth forms a thin smile. “Do you know where you are, Timothy?”
   “No.”
   “Well then, let me tell you,” he makes an expansive gesture. “This place is called The Institute. For the foreseeable future, The Institute will be your new home. Now won’t that be nice!”
   “Where’s my mummy and daddy?”
   “They’ve had to go away for a little while and have left you here with me. Don’t worry; they’ll be back soon enough. You can call me professor.”
   “Professor?”
   “Yes, professor,” he fiddles with a black biro and opens a drawer. “Now, Timothy, I’m going to show you some cards with pictures on them and -”
   “Picture Cards? I like Battle-Bots.”
   “Yes, that’s the idea, but these are called inkblots,” he holds up a card. “Pay attention, Timothy. I want you to look at this one and tell me what you see.”
   Timothy glances at the card and then averts his eyes. “It’s a lady lying on a bed. She doesn’t have any clothes on. The sheets are covered in red paint.”
   “Red paint?”
   “Or tomato sauce. Or soup.”
   “Or blood?”
   “Yes.”
   The professor places the card on the left-hand side of the table. “Let’s try another one, shall we? Look carefully, Timothy. What do you see this time?”
   “It’s a face. A man’s face. A face that has no eyes.”
   “No eyes?”
   “Yes, he has no eyes. They are missing.” Timothy's gaze moves from the inkblot to the antisptic face.
   The professor raises an eyebrow. “Why are you looking at me, Timothy? What do you see?”
   “I’m tired. Can we stop now?”
   “But we’ve only just begun, Timothy. We’ve only just begun.”


   It is 2008, and Timothy is fifteen. He is sitting inside a glass bubble in a white, antiseptic room. On the other side of the glass, a white antiseptic man with thin lips stares down at him.
   “Do you remember your father, Timothy?”
   “Nuh-No.”
   “Do you remember your mother, Timothy?”
   “Nuh -”
   “Do you remember me, Timothy?”
   Timothy does not reply.
   Professor Robertson fiddles with his black biro. “Do you remember me, Timothy?”
   Timothy offers a lifeless expression. “It’s a face. A face that has no eyes.”


   It is 2018, and Timothy feels the effect of gravity playing heavy on his eyelids as he languishes inside a glass bubble; his memories are eaten by worms, dreams infested with maggots. As he closes his eyes, another fragment of his shattered mind becomes lost. Lying in a bed of a cheap motel in a place called Desolation, Timothy drowns in crimson sheets murmuring half-remembered words from a long-forgotten childhood. “…who shall change our vile body that it may be like unto His glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things to himself.”


   It is 2038, and Timothy is sitting alone on warm sand drinking piña coladas. The sun’s rays bombard the shoreline. It is humid and the air is polluted. The ambient temperature promotes within him a euphoric transcendental state. His epidermis absorbs electromagnetic radiation.
   “Open your eyes, Timothy; it is time to wake up.”
   For as long as he can remember, Timothy's sun has been a 40w light bulb. “The future is malleable!”


* (Close up of grubby hands wrapped around a grease-sodden copy of the Financial Times) *


   A fish supper from a litterbin out-front of Billy Batters and a couple of dog-ends from the gutter of the Rose and Crown; Tommy White has never had it so good. With a full belly and pulling on a smoke, the old down-and-out makes tracks for cardboard city oblivious to the unfamiliar who has studied him for the past three hours.
   At the corner of High Road and Bakersfield Crescent, the stranger makes his move. “Tommy... Timothy?”
   “Who’s asking?”
   “This carcass is called Dave Williams. I think you already know who I am.”


Reviews

Written by Asferthecat (859 comments posted) 31st July 2008
I like the idea of doing an ink-blot test on a child and the child turning out to have horrible interpretations. Timothy is obviously mad. 
If I didn't know that you haven't worked it out yet, I'd be fascinated to know what he is doing in the institute and what weird experiment is being done on him. 
I'd like you to have extended the five-year old piece, as the others weren't so interesting. 
The end is bewildering. Presumable the tramp is Timothy but where, why, what etc?

Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 31st July 2008
Mad! Timothy? Damn right he’s mad. But he’s not insane, just royally ticked off. Now, either my story is far more confusing than I thought, or you missed part three. Although, to be fair, it is probably a case of the former rather than the latter. 
 
Regardless, thanks for continuing to read. All the best, 
Steve.

Written by Nick (163 comments posted) 31st July 2008
Hey Steve, 
 
This little idea of yours is developing nicely - although I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't read the other 3 as it probably won't make much sense. 
 
I definitely want to read more about Timmy's back story - why he's like that etc, and more on the chi-forms. 
 
Particularly liked "his memories are eaten by worms, dreams infested with maggots" - nice imagery. 
 
Like AFC I liked the bit with the inkplots but unfortunately I have seen it done before - some cr*ppy horror movie - Doesn't mean to say you can't keep it - you should cause it's creepy. 
 
Anyway keep up the good writing. 
 
Nick

Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 31st July 2008
Hey Nick, thank you for supporting this little idea of mine. 
 
“I definitely want to read more about Timmy's back story.” 
Here’s a question for you. I’ve already alluded to the reasoning behind the experimentation, so, as much as you’d ‘like’ to know more, do you actually ‘need’ to know more? 
 
“Why he's like that etc.” Like what, exactly? He’s been on Tamodril and Omicron-29 for the past twenty years, and I think this might have had a slightly detrimental affect on his boyish good nature. 
 
“More on the chi-forms.” Yes, that’s definitely on the cards. 
 
I’m quite close (maybe a couple more chapters) to posting a conclusion to this story, at which point (having a beginning, middle and end) I will then paste it all together and look to fill in any holes. 
 
Thanks again and all the best, 
Steve.

Written by Phil (7007 comments posted) 31st July 2008
While back story is good, this didn't work for me as well as the other three. As you say - rough - I'd say rushed. There's more here to develop - which I guess is a compliment. I wanted more of each scene and was left a little frustrated following each one. You say that you've already alluded to to things previously. Don't forget though - you're writing the story and are wrapped up in it - us readers may need a few more nudges here and there. 
 
This felt like rough sketches of scenes rather than a rough draft. 
 
Just reread my words - they seem a little pompous - oops - sorry - and a little negative. Not meant to be negative - just feel that within the piece so far that this is weak - and that's a shame as it is an interesting and very readable story. 
 
Phil

Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 1st August 2008
Hi Phil. 
You are, of course, entitled to say rushed, although I would suggest ‘sparse’. As I’ve explained, I am building the framework - beginning, middle and end - before fleshing the story out where I deem it necessary to do so. 
 
“You say that you've already alluded to things. Don't forget you're writing the story and are wrapped up in it - us readers may need a few more nudges here and there.” 
And that was the question(s): Do you need more nudges? Is it unclear that he is being experimented upon? Is it unclear what the experiments are for (precognition)?  
 
As always, thanks for the feedback, 
Steve

Written by Phil (7007 comments posted) 1st August 2008
Clear he's being experimented on. Not clear - at least to me - that it's for precognition. Also not clear - though I may have missed something - why him. 
 
Is 'chi-form' an accepted sci-fi term? If so - I haven't got a handle on that. If not - it seems like a good a name as any. 
 
Phil

Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 1st August 2008
Chi-form: I made up, but it’s an acceptable sci-fi term to me. Chi is the life force of the universe, believed to be present in all living things. So the chi-form is the ultimate out-of-body experience, or not, as the case may be. 
Precognition: Ah! Now you did openly admit to skipping through Prof Robertson’s diary, so you’ve only got yourself to blame. 
Why him: Because he’s an albino. Again, mentioned in the prof’s diary. 
 
All clear now? No! Ooh err missus, please yourselves. 
 
All the best, 
Steve.  
I forgot.
Written by Nick (163 comments posted) 2nd August 2008
Hey Steve, 
 
Ignore my previous comments - I forgot about the drugs. 
 
Although I may want to read more about Timmy it probably isn't necessary for the story. 
 
Anyway keep it coming. 
 
Nick 
 

Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 4th August 2008
Fear not, Nick, I could never ignore you. 
 
All the best, 
Steve.

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