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Poetry
Disused Country Graveyard
By Steve_K
31 July 2008

 

The thick grassy mohawk

Shoots down an unused road

I ramble for I'm in the mood


Foxgloves, Forget me nots and Yellow flowers

Of whose name I can never remember 

Dress the ditches in droves

Thick, healthy country ditches

A Bee lands on my hand

Its body throbs in beat

Shagged from nectar eating

And the Indian Summer heat

He rests until he flies

Inside the finger of a foxglove


At the end of the road 

Lies a stone wall and rusty gate

Perhaps a Masonic meeting place?

My weak push 

Moves it enough for a body's width

And I slip in


Growth has come over this locus

Nettles, thorns, thistles and long stalked grass

My shin hits stone

And I scrape away ivy 

To reveal a name

'Michael O' Mahoney

May he rest in peace'


As I walked home that delicious evening

I prayed to be buried in a place like that 

Quiet, beautiful and lacking urban pain

And I picked and breathed in a Yellow flower

The one...Damn, I cannot remember the name

 

Reviews
Strength!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 31st July 2008
I think this goes from strength to greater strength as it progresses. 
 
The last stanza, with that brilliant last line, made me want to review it without delay! 
 
One niggle: I'm not sure about how you've phrased lines 4 & 5: 
 
' . . . Yellow flowers of whose name I can never remember' 
 
Is the 'of' a typo? Or do you mean something like yellow 'flowers of St Patrick', which is a possible plant name (invented here)? 
 
Anyway, much enjoyed overall! 
 
Cheers! 
 
John

Written by Brett (1002 comments posted) 31st July 2008
Steve, I thought this a very intriguing and beautiful piece. Lines 4 & 5 that John wasn't sure about, I think wonderful simply because of the use of 'forget me nots' before 'of whose name I can never remember.' 
 
Some lovely phrases and images; 'It's body throbs in beat', 'Inside the finger of foxglove'. 
And why does 'Indian summer heat' not sound cliched? 
 
That final stanza would be a fitting epitaph on the gravestone of anyone who appreciated the wonder of both nature and life. 
Loved this. 
Cheers
I like this
Written by Brett (1002 comments posted) 31st July 2008
The more I read it. There is a fairytale quality almost. This really is one for me to return to again and again. Thanks. 
Cheers

Written by Steve_K (58 comments posted) 31st July 2008
Thanks lot for the reviews guys.  
 
Yes John perhaps I should have left out the 'of' because I was not thinking of a specific type of flower as you rightly pointed out but I think it still works ok even if I leave it. Thanks again. 
 
Thanks a lot for the kind comments Brett. I spent a lot of time on this one, well a lot of time for me anyway and I'm very happy you've enjoyed it that much. Muchos Gracias amigo
Ah! I see!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 31st July 2008
. . . I think. So it would prosaically read something like, 
 
"Let me me not forget the people whose names I can't remember' ? 
 
Hmmm ! 
 
Much to ponder, but I'm a bit less fuddled on your meaning now, I hope. 
 
All the best! 
 
John X

Written by Phil (7007 comments posted) 1st August 2008
Liked this very much, Steve. Glad I wasn't the only one to catch the fairy tale quality here. 
 
Phil

Written by 1211kellie (177 comments posted) 4th August 2008
Loved the simple beauty of nature expressed in this piece. I agree about the fairytale quality also. 
 
 
Lovely! 
 
Kellie

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