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Unwelcome tenant
By LynB
01 August 2008
After reading all the poems about, ahem, tits, I thought I'd join in the fun.  Just a tongue in cheek look at my encounter with breast cancer.  It helps me to deal with it.  Tell me what you think.  I promise it's a one off!  'Thank God for that' I hear you cry!!

All of these poems about tits I have read
They were funny, and brightened my day
I tried to think of some witty reply
Something sharp and funny to say  

An unwanted tenant settled in one of mine
But I have the scars to prove I kicked him out
He’s not coming back again, I’ll see to that
Gone for good, of that there’s no doubt  

Just in case he got any silly ideas
They decided to microwave me as well
I kicked his butt, he got the message
No sign of him, as far as I can tell  

After all that microwaving, I have only one complaint
The left is bigger than the right
Pity they won’t do the other one to match
Do you think if I asked them nicely, they might?

Reviews

Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 1st August 2008
I think they should! Even Ruth Archer on the Archers had reconstructive surgery. 
 
I'm glad that there's no sign of that tenant. You are a survivor and the rest of us would do well to remember that boobs of all shapes and sizes can be a cause of grief as well as a source of fun! 
 
I was going to ask you what else you have written about your experiences with breast cancer, but I will check your back catalogue of poems first.

Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 1st August 2008
Hi Lyn. I remember you have a wicked turn of smut when you get the urge - surprised you didn't post earlier in the week. 
 
I'm glad you can look back with what seems like a wry smile. Not sure I'd have the courage to do it.  
 
Wit and humanity. 
 
Phil

Written by TwistedTales (548 comments posted) 1st August 2008
I'm glad to see that writing helps you deal with it. Please post of more of similar stuff. The only problem I had with this piece was that first stanza. This would be become more powerful and would have much more impact if you take that off and add something in the same vein as the other three.  
 
TT
Twinning
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 2nd August 2008
First , my congratulations on your fight against the problem -- best wishes for a continuance of winning !!! 
 
Sizes-- I was always under the impression that the pretty pair ( rather in the same way as with men's not so pretty danglers !) always varied in size - exactness in volume etc was to be regarded as a sign of silicon interference !  
 
Good that you can bring humour to the situation , and skill as well. 
 
patterjack 
 
 

Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 2nd August 2008
It's always good to see the back of unwelcome tenants. I've had to fight them off as well. It is always good to come out of the experience into the sunshine again feeling glad, but also with a good sense of humour and looking forward to tomorrow. Good one Lyn.

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