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Science Fiction and Fantasy
Rimworld: 3
By Mr_E_Writer
03 August 2008




The aging outlander opened the hanger door and gestured for Armitage to follow him inside.
   “Impressive,” said Armitage. He whistled through the gap in his front teeth. “I was expecting to see some form of gasbag, yet instead I am presented with a fabulous, yet most curious, device. It looks much like a giant bird, yet constructed from timbers, canvas and string. What name did you call your machine by? A horny-”
   “An ornithopter. It is a ship of the air, a craft designed to fly by the flapping of wings in imitation of birds and insects.”
   “Designed to fly? Have you not yet tested the craft?”
   “My work upon it is only this day completed. I will fly her tomorrow, weather permitting. Would you care to join me?”
   “My dear Bhaing, I was born for adventure. Of course I will join you; I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
   “Or any other world, aye?” suggested the outlander. “Have a look ’round, make yourself at home. I’ll fix you up with a bed roll.”
   “Thanks, but I have my own,” replied Armitage. He wandered over to a row of shelves containing an eclectic collection of wooden carvings. “Did you make these?”
   “Aye, whittling helps to keep my mind occupied in between tinkering with the flying machine.”
   Armitage picked up a carving that resembled one of the ducks he’d seen whilst peering through Bhaing’s telescope. He examined it with admiration.
   “You like my toys, mister Armitage? It is a model of a Lette duck.”
   “I like it very much. I’ve a young daughter back home in Doulton and I figure she’d like this here toy Lette duck. Would you sell it, Bhaing?”
   “Darn right I’d sell it. That is if the price were right.”
   “Ah, yes, money. I fear that I am embarrassed by my current financial status, for my purse is empty, my lime skayles all spent.”
   “Ha, then you may have it, my friend. I can always make another. Now come, get some rest, for tomorrow we fly.”

   The following day found Armitage and the outlandish aviator aboard the ornithopter, flapping through the clouds in the wake of a flight of lemon cifs.
   Several hours had already come and gone when suddenly Bhaing indicated to Armitage that he should look to starboard. “Land ahoy,” he said. “Harness yourself; I’m taking us in to land.”
   The ornithopter hopped, bumped, skipped and jumped across the smooth white plain of the mysterious new world, coming to rest before an enormous hoarding that surrounded a partially-demolished wooden shack.
   Armitage stepped down from the flying machine and studied a poster that had been pasted haphazardly onto the timber slats. “What do you make of this,” he said, gesturing towards the sign.
   Bhaing read the words aloud. “Beware of the gargantuan golden hound, for it comes to steal our quilted sheets. Huh! Whatever can it mean?”
   Abruptly, a door in the hoarding creaked open and a strange looking man stepped through the gap accompanied by an equally strange looking woman; both of them having silver complexions.
   “Howdoo pards,” said the man. “Yous-a lookin a lot like strangers to these parts. Where’ve yous travelled from? Bharrf, perhaps?”
   “I am not familiar with this place you call Bharff. My friend and I are from Rimworld,” replied Armitage.
   “I’ll have none’a’yer ol’ flannel now pard, none’a’yer soft soap. Rimworld be just a myth.”
   “I can assure you that Rimworld is not a myth, for it is from that very place that we have journeyed,” said Armitage. He stepped forward and offered his hand in friendship. “My name is Armitage Shanks, and this is my good friend, the aviator, Cillit Bhaing.”
   At this, the woman began hopping around and waving her arms excitedly. “Don’t you be a-liss’nin’ t’ none o’ their nonsense, huzbun-a mine. These varmints are feeden uz krapp, talkin' shyte they are.”
   “Foul wench!” exclaimed the silver-skinned man. “Get yo head insi’ the shack an’ wash yo mouth out wit’ soap.” He stepped forward and shook the hand that Armitage had offered. “Ma apologies gen-tel-men, the woman needs-a wupp'n. My names Pluhgg, Fawcett Pluhgg, an this here’s ma mad ass wife Mixie-Tapp. On behalf of my people, I would like to officially welcome you to W’Shan Baysun.”





Reviews

Written by TwistedTales (548 comments posted) 4th August 2008
:grin Great dialog - from the people of the W'Shan Baysun. My only comment would be that you make them fly too soon. There was so much anticipation that was built in the last piece and in this one too, till the point Armitage inspects the craft. But then, the next thing you know, they're in the sky. I'd suggest that you build that portion a bit more. Otherwise, some great setting and characters.  
 
Regards, 
TT

Written by Mr_E_Writer (225 comments posted) 5th August 2008
Hi again Mr T. 
 
Yes, you’re correct, I cut the part about the prep of the ship and the initial flight because the story seems to be generating very little interest and I wanted to get to the punch line before the joke wore off. 
 
Cheers. 
 
Eric.  

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 5th August 2008
I great bit of fun. I had a good time spotting all the puns, though I'm not sure I can quite forgive you for "toy Lette duck" :grin  
Clever idea to fit a story round the puns and give it a narrative. I think you caught it in time and it all ended happily. 
No mention of Vitromant from Twyford though? 
cheers 
jane 

Written by Olly_Williams (11 comments posted) 6th August 2008
i like your work Mr E. 
this was very creative and will check out your other doings on this website. 
Cheers 
Olly

Written by Mr_E_Writer (225 comments posted) 6th August 2008
Thanks for reading my story (and commenting), Olly. 
A lot of my work is likened to 'doings' so hopefully you'll find some of my other yarns to your liking. Go on, give 'em a crack! 
 
Cheers, cheers, and more cheers, 
Eric. 
 
Hilarious!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 6th August 2008
Oh ha ha ha! 
 
Thoroughly enjoyed this! Presumumably it's Armitage Skanks? W'Shan Baysun and Cillit Bhaing have given me the giggles. 
 
Must check out more of your other work! 
 
Cheers! 
 
John

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