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By Veronica_Milvus
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04 August 2008 |
A senior manager in our company lost his job last week when his department was closed down.
SKIMMING STONE
Skipping on the surface of the pond,
bounding with kinetic energy,
rippling and splashing at the smooth skin of the water.
the pebble of him
losing its momentum,
eventually sinking,
tumbling through liquid shadows.
Lost to sight among the weeds
settling, finally, in the silt.
The water closes over him
the ripples slake, subside.
Stillness and silence return.
Pond skaters resume their journeys
treading over surface tension,
never spoiling that perfect reflection.
The afternoon drowses on.
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Sustained!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 4th August 2008 | What a superbly sustained metaphor!
Particularly like 'the pebble of him' and 'tumbling through liquid shadows'.
Marvellous piece!
Cheers!
John
Oh, and thanks for 'Slartybartfast'! |
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 4th August 2008 | An excellent metaphor, expertly executed!
I am in awe at the strength of images contained in so simple a concept -
'tumbling through liquid shadows', 'settling, finally, in the silt'
'Pond skaters resume their jorneys' I thought very sad and profound. In fact I shall say the same for that entire final stanza - no dammit, the whole piece.
Wonderful, V.
Cheers |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 4th August 2008 | I was really gripped by this,with all the wonderful imagery and the strangely menacing metaphor. I almost wish you hadn't given us that explanation, as the poem,as written, could stand for other situations. It kind of limits it. With something like this it's easy to make up your own story
Cheers
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Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 4th August 2008 | | Veronica, if John had not said it, I would. It is a wonderful metaphor. The only difference is that we human stones can rise again and skim again much faster. Often one door closing means new opportunities presenting themselves, so we do not always sink. Well done. I enjoyed your poem very much. |
Written by briarcroft (38 comments posted) 4th August 2008 | | Absolutely masterful. You did a beautiful job with this. |
Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 4th August 2008 | This is a very beautifull dark metaphor,and disturbing.
I like this very much but now I want to jump off a cliff!!!!
( just kidding)  |
Written by 1211kellie (177 comments posted) 4th August 2008 | | Beautiful piece of imagery and such sadness as the pebble comes to rest within the silt. |
Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 4th August 2008 | Not much to add to the above - liked it very much. Like Punchy - dark.
Phil |
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