Her eyes were bright as they looked deep into my soul.
Her face was framed by her hair, which was shining like silk as it flowed past her neck.
Her smile lit the room and brought a leap of joy to my heart.
As She smiled, her happiness exuded throughout the room and melted the hearts of all her eyes gazed upon
Her dress fitted yet flowed on her body to the knee where her smooth legs held her body aloft for all to see.
She knew all eyes where on her yet she concentrated on me, directly on me.
Plucking up courage I went over and said hello, her smiling face broke into what can only be called a sunbeam.
Her full lips looked welcoming as she spoke a single word – hello – I clumsily spoke back my response which made her smile widen. She had a power over me, which she could manipulate into any direction she wanted. Her perfume was delicate and understated which only seemed to accentuate the beauty that was there before me.
She asked if I minded getting her a drink, like a little puppy dog I quickly obliged and returned with her glass refreshed. The room was large and comfortably furnished for a hotel reception where we congregated prior to going into the main reception room for a seminar for local companies.
Her name was Alice, an unimaginative name in today’s terms but gave an air of approachability when speaking with her. The assembled people were called into the seminar room where we took seats close to the front.
Alice and I had known each other for many years, she knew that I had ‘feelings’ for her but as we were both married, and happily, she had also subdued her own feelings towards me. We had an understanding between each other that simmered beneath the surface, one that enabled us to enjoy each other’s company in the full knowledge of our respective spouses without concern. But for me it was difficult, I love my wife and children dearly, Alice’s husband was a dear friend, but I could not clear my mind of her, because of this I tumbled into a depression that those around could not understand.

The seminar ended with not a lot of new information, sometimes I felt it was just an opportunity for a social get together for local businesses, if it wasn’t for Alice I was sure I would not have attended.
We said our goodbyes and confirmed to see each other again at the weekend when we went out socially with our respective spouses.

I used to give Alice a kiss on the cheek, but I have had to stop doing this as the emotions it stirred deepened my depression. She knows this and accepts the reason, but is saddening. Over the past 20 years it has never got easier, but the choice of losing my wife, children and best friend and taking a chance together was too much to lose. As it seems at the moment I have the best of all worlds as we enjoy the company we keep when we can and even more because it is in public, the sordid-ness of underhand liaisons have never intrigued me.
My wife is fully aware of my feelings towards Alice, and she is also fully aware of my feelings towards her, usually she takes it all in her stride, sometimes she ‘ribs’ me mercilessly. It is a strange acceptance by her that bonds me even closer to her. 
My friend is also aware of my feelings, at first was very wary of my presence, but now, well he almost jokes about it.
Our children from both sides of the family treat each other like aunts and uncles, and brothers and sisters such is the closeness of our relationship.

The years pass, we all get older, and we have been able ‘manage’ our feelings. Sometimes it felt as though it had changed and we had become more and more as though we were ‘just’ friends, then something happens’ which re-kindled the light in our eyes. Maybe a recollection of what the past has stored up for us, maybe even that knowledge that we have ‘managed’ our lives and been able to retain that most valuable of possessions that only a family and friendship can give.

I have no regrets of my choices in life, although I do have an ache in my heart for Alice. I have a deep and powerful love and understanding from my wife that I cherish above all else. Because of this my love for my wife has deepened.
I have wasted many years with my wife because of my inability to acknowledge and accept the feelings that I held deep within me. Now with the benefit of age and experience on my side I can see that I am a very lucky man to have and retained the love and friendship of all those around me, and also the patience of my wife and dear friends who have remained with me.