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Poetry
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Summer Comes
By Robru
07 August 2008

Our seasons are upside down compared to your's in the northern hemisphere. Summer is coming.


      Spring is creeping  across my garden
      With the pace of a crippled snail
      But summer comes quite quickly
      Bringing storms and often hail.

      Sunshine comes and we start thinking
      Warm weather,s here to stay
      Picnics, outdoors anytime
      No cold or rain this day..

      It's now the storm clouds gather swiftly
      Far out on the western plains,
      Then empty right on top of us
      Strong winds and pelting rains.

      Lightning flashes across the sky
      Show fields and cattle every flash
      Rain lashes at the window pane
      Wind shakes the curtain sash.

      Soon the storm will blow away
      The winds will all die down
      The sky will lighten everywhere
      The moon will lose its frown.

      Such is the wrath of summer storms
      But their time is short and wild
      While sun which follows many storms
      Will stay a long long while.


Reviews
Hi Bob!
Written by Katanga (1229 comments posted) 7th August 2008
I like this! 
 
'The moon will lose its frown'. - great line! 
 
On the whole, it scans very well, but I'm going to have a niggle: 
 
Some of your stanzas' first lines need 'tweaking' as there are too many syllables as they stand. 
 
'Spring is creeping slowly cross my garden' could do with reducing to e.g. 
 
'Spring creeps slowly across my lawn' 
 
'Lightning flashes right across the sky' 
 
I would drop the word 'right' giving, 
 
'Lightning flashes across the sky' 
 
'Soon the storm will just blow away' 
 
I would drop the word 'just' giving 
 
'Soon the storm will blow away'. 
 
Sorry to niggle, but hope this helps? 
 
BTW I note that this is my one thousandth review posted on GW, quite a milestone for me! - I'm glad it's for you as I enjoy and admire your work. 
 
Cheers! 
 
John 
 
 
 
 

Written by Phil (6731 comments posted) 7th August 2008
I think we had a two week summer a while ago. 
:sigh  
 
Enjoy the sunny weather when it comes. You've no idea how lucky you are! 
 
Phil

Written by Robru (219 comments posted) 7th August 2008
Thanks to you both for your comments. In my original copy I have already done as you suggest . I just haven't edited this one yet. Time constraints, you know. I have too many irons in the fire at the same time. My photography is on hold for a few days as I have run out of printer ink. Our location is such that it's almost a major exercise to go get some more.  
Such are the tribulations of living in what is called a remote area. It's not really but one does have to plan ahead. 
 
Cheers to everyone 
 
Bob 
 
P.s. The sunny weather will bring hot temperatures in Jan + Feb. 40+ degrees celcius. Last week it was -9. We do have a big variation.

Written by Brett (785 comments posted) 7th August 2008
Bob, this piece is so laid back I found it hard to plough on - not that it's bad writing, it just didn't grab my attention. Sorry, for I have enjoyed many of your other pieces - but I did feel I had to comment as one line, for me, speaks volumes: 'With the pace of a crippled snail.' 
I wish I had thought of that - nice. 
Cheers

Written by Robru (219 comments posted) 7th August 2008
Thanks Brett, I cannot but agree with you on this. Its just too bfar laid back and has no hook.

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