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By Bluegirl
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05 January 2006 |
Another flash. Based on the prompt 'soul survivor'. It needs a title, but i really suck at titles so if anyone's got any suggestions...! Let me show you the photo at the side of my bed.. .It's of my Jack. Long gone now, of course. Like so many others. Can you see how smart he looked in that uniform? He really was something, all the girls were after him. But he chose me. I was lucky. He came to see me regular, after he died. My daughter thought I was losing my marbles I think, when I told her. But that's alright, she'll understand one day. He's not been so often this last year or so. I'm glad, in a way. I'd hate for him to see me like this. Everything had to be just-so when I was younger. We had a lovely home, and I worked hard to keep everything looking smart. I never so much as had a hair out of place. Now I can't even feed myself, and I lie in this bed all day, waiting for someone to take me to the toilet or change my clothes. Maggie understands how proud I am, she sits for hours, brushing my hair. She's a good girl. Though I wish she would just accept the future. Whenever I mention the D word, she looks nervously around her and quickly changes the subject. I know Jack's coming for me soon. I hear the whispered voices of the nurses when they think I'm asleep. But it's alright. I'll be happy to see him again; my soul mate. We've been apart too long. |
♪" ... from both sides now ...." Written by Bagheera (679 comments posted) 5th January 2006 | Song lyrics sometimes suggest themselves (in my case it seems to be a rule rather than an exception!) This one's from a Carpenters song, and I thought of it as I was reading your character's thoughts. I can't imagine a meaningful life without my soulmate, but realistically one or other of us will have to find a way of carrrying on sooner or later. I think you capture the helplessness and loneliness in a minimum of extremely well-chosen words. | Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 10th February 2007 | Sole mate = soul mate. Very good title. Do not change it. A lovely story, not sad at all. How many patients have I heard saying similar things. I never tried to dissuade them. How wonderful to believe that your partner is waiting for you. | Like the title Written by AnnieSeed (128 comments posted) 11th May 2007 | I like the title too and don't think you should change it. I don't just believe this sort of thing, I know it. I wish everyone could be at peace with dying. I can't imagine being closer to anyone than I am to my partner, but if I go before him, my late grandmother has to come for me. I've told her this! Is there more to this piece? It feels as if there should be. | Written by bluecity (311 comments posted) 12th December 2007 | I liked the title too. Don't change it. The character of the m/c was beginning to develop itself, even in this short excerpt, and I know you have a good short story in the making here. Do develop it. Rosemary
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