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Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 8th August 2008 |
There's always a certain rhythm to very good prose: within each sentence, paragraph and the piece as a whole. It's something that often distinguishes average writing from the best. There are a whole raft of prose writers who produce beautiful, graceful and powerful writing but stick it together in strings of sentences and paragraphs.
While I'm a fan of poetry, I don't think it's the zenith of written communication. For example, for me, it would be hard to beat the final sentence of The Great Gatsby or the opening sentence of the The Go Between for beautiful English.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is: sometimes prose is better. I prefer the initial prose version of this as it flows and has little pretension.
I'm not saying you can't write poetry. Nor am I saying the chunked up version isn't poetry. - Just blethering really.
Liked it anyway.
Phil
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Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 8th August 2008 |
Thanks again Phil.
Now, as for the idea of you blethering, I don't think that anyone could accuse you of talking unintelligently or inanely, atleast... not at length.
All the best,
Steve. |
Weeping into a tissue of lies
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 8th August 2008 |
Still fits the metre. Just because the natural stress is on the first syllable of the line doesn't make any difference - there are still four beats to this line. Use it, Steve, and be damned - before someone does take up the challenge and makes a horse's arse out of it!
Cheers |
A thought before . . .
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 8th August 2008 |
. . . bedtime!
You write excellent prose, Steve.
Your kind of prose is, along with the best, 'poetry in motion'.
That's the only corny way I can describe it.
For real 'poetry in motion', BTW , try 'By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept'. by Elizabeth Sharp.
It'll blow your mind away - promise, and it's a quick read!
Cheers! John X |
Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 8th August 2008 |
Thanks Brett, I’ve used it and been damned. Although I’m happy to admit that I’m quite partial to hors d’oeuvres.
All the best,
Steve. |
Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 9th August 2008 |
Than X, john x.
I write excellent prose, John?
That may, indeed, be true. In fact, I can feel one coming on just about now. Although not poetry, it is still a motion. Perhaps not a mind, but it will most certainly blow something away.
On Old Thomas Doulton I Sat Down and…Aaaahhhh'.
Although I’m not weeping, it has most definitely brought a tear to my eye!
Cheers! Steve T |
'Triangles fail . . .
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 9th August 2008 |
. . . to compromise'.
I really like this line, but am intrigued . . .
Do you mean 'love triangles' where no one will concede defeat? Or somethimg to do with higher maths whereby triangles cannot be manipulated into any other shape? Or a bit of both?
A manage a trois, even?
Cheers!
John X |
Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 9th August 2008 |
Hello, again, John.
Triangles fail to compromise.
I suppose that this is a prologue to my ‘Not, through a window’ poem, about the bride who does not make it too the church (let alone on time). So yes, it is a love triangle, hence the introduction of the ‘old flame’ in the following line.
All the best,
Steve. |
Ah, Steve!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 9th August 2008 |
Now I get it!
Thank you!
Doh!
Both excellent poems!
Cheers Steve!
John |
Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 9th August 2008 |
I only wish I knew-knew
Why there's two o's in my to (too)
Dearest Packard Bell keyboard pray tell
Is it cos I just can't speell (Shit! Done it again!!)
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 9th August 2008 |
For what it's worth I think it works better as poetry. My favourite definition of poetry is "compression of expression" and the brevity of this suits the poetic form.
Prose demands a narrative which requres a longer more detailed work. whereas a short theme can be expressed in poetry without losing anything.
I'm not saying I'm right, it's just an opinion which you are free to do with as you will.
cheers
jane |
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 9th August 2008 |
Agree with Jane. Even as an introduction to a longer piece of prose, the rhymes stare you in the face. Best as verse - or make the most out of the verse!
Cheers |
Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 9th August 2008 |
Jane, I've already done it both ways so have no more will which I'm free to do with.
As it is, I like it both ways.
Ah, now that probably didn't come out sounding right!
I'm off before things get any worse.
All the best,
Steve. |
Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 9th August 2008 |
Brett, I suppose that if my long piece is staring you in the face, then you must have a point!
All the best,
Steve. |
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