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My Sister (Revised)

By an_aspiring_writer

06 January 2006

Thanks to comments I have revised the following poem

N.B. Paragraph formatting has drove me wild, I am a bit of a perfectionist and have edited and deleted this so many times to try and get it right but to no avail, I have had to leave it like this, I think it looks horrible - apologies.

N.N.B. NOW SORTED

Jenny x x

MY SISTER

I reached out; I touched your arm,
I pulled you closer into my embrace.
I touched your emotion, I touched your heart.

I felt your pain, I cried for you.

And now, to make you happy I must insist;
My love for you is vast
Your power over me will never be in question

For this I know you are my world
I take you, in my arms and in my heart

You are with me, you are my life
And this will never change my sister
I will keep you safe and in my heart.

Reviews

Touching
Written by Bagheera (685 comments posted) 6th January 2006

You can choose your friends, but not your family.
It's therefore important to have a good, close relationship with family - am I right in thinking the sister referred to is much yopunger than yourself, a baby sister perhaps? Can't put my finger on a word or phrase which makes me feel this, but I felt it strongly.

Formatting problems: as a fellow 'perfectionist', I sympathise. If you look through the archives on this site (or try Google) there's some software called "Rough Draft" which I've found useful - it's a free download, BTW.

Thanks Bagheera
Written by an_aspiring_writer (5 comments posted) 6th January 2006

Hi Bagheera,
Thanks for your comments. My sister is only 18 months younger than me but we are very close. She is quite unhappy at the moment and that makes me really sad. I wrote this after I had seen her and she was upset and that made me cry, because I just want her to be happy. We are both quite restless at the moment and I am going to try and do something about it this year. I am reading The Celestine Prophecy at the moment and seriously agree with some of the issues raised!

This is probably a bit more info than you wanted, but there you go - lol :grin

Jenny x

Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 12th February 2007

Jenny, I had three sisters now all dead.
They died relatively young.

I wrote apoem called Youth Revisited or For Dorothy.

I know How difficult it is to write such poems.
I AM NOT GOOD at the correct forming in poetry, I'm afraid I let my heart speak.

Might I give you something to think about?

I reach out touching your arm,
Pulling you into my safe embrace.
Touching your emotions, I touched your heart

Feeling your pain, I cried with you. etc maryb

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