Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Seaside progress
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1180 guests online and 3 members online
Poetry
Seaside progress
By Artemis
10 August 2008

This was written about a town on the North Norfolk coast, where the names of a few fishing families fill the churchyard, but there is pressure from the Chelsea-on-sea set moving westwards.


She sells herself on the sea shore
She serves the stags and salesmen, no sailors any more
Shunning sunlight for seclusion in small streets where saloons slow
Staccato of soiled stilettos.

He hauls his pots in high-tide spray
Hawks to high-end hip hotels where hoorays holiday
Heritage of harvesting the heaving, howling sea
Hearing his son's hesitation.

Chi-chi cafe, a chintz-free room
Clamouring for classier customers who'll consume
Cupcakes and cappuccinos without complaint at price
Contemporary can't compromise.

Reviews

Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 10th August 2008
I like this - the first line really drew me in, and I think you get away with all the alliteration. 
 
Second to last line would "complaint" be better than "complain"? 
 
But yes, nicely written and bitterly poignant. Thanks for posting.
Masterful alliteration!
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 10th August 2008
I'm considering printing this poem off just as a sobering up exercise! 
There are some wonderful lines here, that may have come across clumsily if not handled with such skill: 
'Hawks to high-end hip hotels where hoorays holiday' 
Marvellous. 
Thoroughly enjoyed. 
Cheers

Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 10th August 2008
This tells the changes and adjustments well. I have to confess, I'm unsure about the alliteration. Probably just a personal thing. Others disagree. 
 
I still enjoyed the piece - almost social commentary. 
 
Phil
Indeed!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 10th August 2008
Brilliant first line as a hooker, if you'll forgive the pun! 
 
So original and brilliantly written . . .  
 
Stunned by this . . . Marvellous! 
 
John X

Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 11th August 2008
Welcome, Artemis, now I know who you are! 
 
;)

Written by LynnRossum (1 comments posted) 11th August 2008
Wow...Amazingly written!  
Can't wait for more. 
 
:) ~LRS~
Very very skilful
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 18th November 2008
and skilful with a sting as well ! 
 
very much enjoyed  
 
patterjack 
 
who only just found this ! -- sorry to be late )  
 
 

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item