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Seaside progress

By Artemis

10 August 2008

This was written about a town on the North Norfolk coast, where the names of a few fishing families fill the churchyard, but there is pressure from the Chelsea-on-sea set moving westwards.

She sells herself on the sea shore
She serves the stags and salesmen, no sailors any more
Shunning sunlight for seclusion in small streets where saloons slow
Staccato of soiled stilettos.

He hauls his pots in high-tide spray
Hawks to high-end hip hotels where hoorays holiday
Heritage of harvesting the heaving, howling sea
Hearing his son's hesitation.

Chi-chi cafe, a chintz-free room
Clamouring for classier customers who'll consume
Cupcakes and cappuccinos without complaint at price
Contemporary can't compromise.

Reviews

Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 10th August 2008

I like this - the first line really drew me in, and I think you get away with all the alliteration.

Second to last line would "complaint" be better than "complain"?

But yes, nicely written and bitterly poignant. Thanks for posting.

Masterful alliteration!
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 10th August 2008

I'm considering printing this poem off just as a sobering up exercise!
There are some wonderful lines here, that may have come across clumsily if not handled with such skill:
'Hawks to high-end hip hotels where hoorays holiday'
Marvellous.
Thoroughly enjoyed.
Cheers

Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 10th August 2008

This tells the changes and adjustments well. I have to confess, I'm unsure about the alliteration. Probably just a personal thing. Others disagree.

I still enjoyed the piece - almost social commentary.

Phil

Indeed!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 10th August 2008

Brilliant first line as a hooker, if you'll forgive the pun!

So original and brilliantly written . . .

Stunned by this . . . Marvellous!

John X

Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 11th August 2008

Welcome, Artemis, now I know who you are!

Written by LynnRossum (1 comments posted) 11th August 2008

Wow...Amazingly written!
Can't wait for more.

~LRS~

Very very skilful
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 18th November 2008

and skilful with a sting as well !

very much enjoyed

patterjack

who only just found this ! -- sorry to be late )

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