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Great Writing - Home > Non-Fiction > Lunch time with a bunch of wild and crazy guys
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Non-Fiction
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| Lunch time with a bunch of wild and crazy guys | |
| By bobc | ||||
| 12 August 2008 | ||||
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That also play with fire for a living Usually there were 8 or 9 smiths working in the shop. Some would be banging out plant hooks by the dozen, some would be making strap hinges, still others would be forging beautiful fireplace tools and andiirons. I was making sets of kitchen utensils. As was my custom, I would do all the movements in the steel to create all the handles first, since, no matter if it was to be a ladle, spoon, or fork, all the handles were the same. This was the way most of the smiths approached the run of items to be made. Group the similar tasks to speed up completion. We were paid piecework so economy of time was the key to a good paycheck. This way of working also lead to boredom. The lunch break was a time to break up the boredom with smithy type games. Of course, all manner of weapons were made and used for hilarious competitions of skill and idiocy. One day the challenge might be to make and balance a throwing knife, the next day a crossbow. We put up a large piece of plywood at the far end of the shop and drew a human shaped outline on it. There were different points marked on various body parts. The arms or legs might be 25, the chest 30, the head 100, and so on. The wood had the scars fron knives, axes, throwing stars, plant hooks, frying pans, pokers, just about anything that could be hurled. And the big prize was the crotch, 1000 pts.. Being a crazy bunch, there was almost no wood left in the crotch area. Working as a professional fire bug meant fun was only as far away as the nearest combustable substance. The noise level of a shop of yahoos pounding on steel meant to be noticed, any explosions must be loud or bright. Or hurt! Because of the intense concentration devoted to the production of some of the finest metal art in the world, or the noise, each day someone would be given the all important job of alerting the rest of the smiths of the awaited lunchtime. This alert came in many incarnations. Sometimes it meant sneaking up behind each smith and banging loudly on a frying pan or gong. Sometimes a Styrofoam cup would be placed upside down on an anvil with a bit of it over the edge. The cup could then be filled with acetylene gas and touched off with a tourch. The piss inducing bang never failed to stop all work, as most went to the locker room to get their lunch, and change pants! This particular day I was the designated alarm. Having to light the coal forges was one of the dutiful and fun tasks left to me being the lead firebug. This meant I knew where the wooden matches were kept for safety. I also knew, from scientific experiments done with the matches, a hammer, and an anvil, that the ones wiith the white tip would go off like a loud cap when struck with my hammer as they lay innocently on an anvil. Having an inquisitive mind, or just being mischievous, I decided to perform some of the most valuable scientific research yet known since the first humans learned to dance feverishly around the communal bonfire to keep from getting burned. Would a white tipped match just pop, or pop and light, when launched like a mini-missile and striking on steel? Answer: sometimes yes, sometimes no. During the course of my research, some of my fellow yahoos became interested in the results. As it was lunch, they had an hour with nothing to do but eat so their help was enlisted to seek out the knowlege that would save mankind, or at least provide an amusing lunch. Soon the shop was alive with flying matches, popping, small puffs of smoke, and the maniacal laughter of crazy people. The experiment was repeated hundreds of times to be absolutely sure of the results, usually from a safe place. The experiment came to an abrupt halt when the owner came into the shop to give us some trivial information about steel and coal deliveries. A missle had just missed his head and popped on the steel cabinet next to the door. He informed us that insurance would cover work related injury, but not lunch time foolishness. If we wanted to continue our research, he strongly suggested we do it after lunch. The boss was a yahoo firebug too!
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