Racism is a state of mind,
Brought upon another without being kind.
It is there for me and you,
When showing our colours true!
Some like to ride on our bus,
Without any money or any fuss.
They want everything free,
Expecting nothing less from you and me!
They want reparation for acts gone bye,
They accept your cash without a sigh.
What are they made of? What will they be?
If they cannot live,
Without handouts from you and me?
Enough is enough,
You're supposed to know!
To hell with the parasites,
Don't let them ruin your show!
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Written by amboline (183 comments posted) 9th January 2006 |
I'm afraid I don't like this. I find it hard to latch onto what the point of the poem is supposed to be - you begin with comments about racism, but the majority of the poem is about an amorphous group of scroungers whose nature and aims are very ill-defined. I infer from the first two lines and the poem title that these scroungers are somehow connected with the issue of racism but you don't make it clear whether the scroungers are racists or whether they are individuals who accuse others of racism.
I appreciate that you're writing from South Africa where issues of racism have had and continue to have a profound effect on the cultural and political climate. As a UK reader (like I think the majority of those on this site) I find it really valuable to get insights about what life is like in your neck of the woods, what are the burning issues and how they might be dealt with. But if anything, for me this poem muddies the waters rather than clarifies your situation and your concerns. I feel I'm *less* well informed - more confused - about what life is like for you, after reading this, than I was before.
I don't want this to be an unduly negative comment, and I apologise if it comes out that way. To end on a note of constructive criticism, maybe it would be helpful if, when you're writing this kind of material, you're more aware of the audience. Remember that we in the UK are actually quite ignorant of what things are like day-by-day in South Africa. So don't write solely to vent your spleen about something that vexes you; aim to write in a way that will help us to understand WHY this is a concern for you, that helps to bridge the geographic divide.
I hope this comment is helpful and I apologise once again for anything that may seem harsh here. |
Was Animal Farm non-polotical
Written by Rattle_Spear (93 comments posted) 9th January 2006 |
Amboline
I acknowledge your concern of my use of the English language.
I was not aware that racism was a colour issue unique to South Africa.
I found the elements of racism in your back yard in Birmingham on several visits there. I even investigated a murder there.
What if, just what if, this poem found its roots in Germany, France or America for that matter?
The UK issue appears to be more a class or is it a classless one?
Sorry if you thought I was out to offend any person/s in particular. My roots started in Plymouth UK.
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Written by amboline (183 comments posted) 10th January 2006 |
| Reply sent by private message. |
WoW! Wow! WoW
Written by Pat (11 comments posted) 10th April 2006 |
I would like to know where are you coming from with this? Are you saying those who want reparations are parasites? Mmm
Read my story (Experiences can be strange sometimes...) as a Brit who lived in south africa. Some people may think that is racist as well! |
experiences in the Rainbow Nation
Written by Rattle_Spear (93 comments posted) 10th April 2006 |
I thought Racism/Religion were colourless. Did the Brits cry reparation from the Romans? Why suffer from small-mindedness?
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