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By mr_soul
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12 August 2008 |
We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful (And If They're Northern, That Makes It Even Worse)
Jealous Jim was tall and slim,
But his skin was green with envy
At people who could dance and sing,
And wear their clothes so trendy.
Jealous Jim had a group of friends,
And their company he enjoyed.
But in their fortune he saw his end
And their success got him annoyed.
Jealous Jim used to act and write
Creating romance, crime, adventure
But friends’ achievements got him fights
And made him feel a failure.
So Jim grew sadder and in poetry he listed
All the people who had disowned.
Growing old and grey, bitter and twisted
Jealous Jim would die alone.
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Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 12th August 2008 | | I heard your news today. Congratulations. It seems from your poem that someone isn't happy for you? Well, you've got it off your chest in a poem. Rather sad! Are you from Scotland? |
Written by mr_soul (126 comments posted) 12th August 2008 | Thanks very much Josie! Yes there's always a few Jealous Jims in our world who won't be happy for anyone. Even for friends. I thought I'd write something about it.
Yes, I'm from Glasgow though I suppose northern doesn't need to about Scotland, I took those lines from a Morrissey line and I think he, being from Manchester, was refering to anywhere north of London really lol.
Thanks again Josie, your support and advice have helped me so much over the last few months | LOVED IT!
Written by JohnnyD (106 comments posted) 15th August 2008 | I must confess you have used great intelligence in writing this poem through Jim's eyes and perception... I really loved your subtle style, which is indeed very effective... Keep up the good work!
Johnny D |
Written by Bookwormandco. (39 comments posted) 26th August 2008 | Great poem!
Twas a tad morbid at the end.
It's really good you kept the same rhyming scheme/ rhythmy type thing throughout the whole poem, I always find the first one or two lines are good, and I never really get much further. 
Tip: Careful in the last verse, it got me a bit confuzzled, I think it was the wording you used.
Keep writing, tis good stuff!
Lauren |
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