An idea, and no more. An initial 'rough' draft, and no more.
This came to me this morning whilst revelling in the graphic delights of Brian Talbot’s 'Alice in Sunderland'.
As I say, an initial draft that I may or may not extend but will most definitely polish. Posted, as is, to get reaction and the much valued input of GW members.
“It would seem that our once great nation is doomed,” opined Postlethwait, his bespectacled eyes scanning the bank of monitors for some small sign of hope. “Moscow is razed, Washington aflame, Europe reduced to a radioactive wasteland and the Orient… well, let us not dwell on the fate of those poor, unfortunate fellows.”
Caruthers stepped forward, a sombre expression hewn upon his ashen features. “Is there nothing that can be done? Is the whole of humanity to be crushed beneath the heel of this hellspawn?
Professor Postlethwait raised a hand to his face, combing his greying handlebar moustache with finger and thumb. “I fear there remains but one course of action left open to us. We must employ the temporal claw that we might raise an army against these creatures.”
“Are you absolutely certain, Oswald? I know that we have worked tirelessly and meticulously towards this day, but, the claw! It remains as yet -”
“You would have us take it for a test drive, at this late hour? No, my friend, time is not on our side. And yet, time is all that we have!” The professor reached into his pocket and retrieved a flash drive which he passed to his young assistant. “This contains all of the temporal coordinates I was able to retrieve at such short notice. If we are to test the device, then there is no time like the present. I shall be in the main hall awaiting the arrival of our guests. Please escort them to me as soon as they have been assembled. There is not a minute to waste.”
“How far back have you managed to go?” Caruthers asked.
“The fifteenth century.”
“The fifteenth! But what of Boadecia, Alfred and -”
“We shall simply have to make do without them, James.”
******
A little shy of five hours later, the walls of the institute’s vast assembly hall were vibrating with the sound of nervous anticipation.
Standing with his back to the window, Professor Postlethwait raised his right hand to call for silence. The enemy had at last arrived and, behind him, the evening sky was a brilliant, fiery red. “Friends, countrymen and countrywomen, Great Britons, may I have your undivided attention for a few moments.”
The throng fell instantly into silence and the professor gestured towards the window. “My apologies for having brought you here at this ungodly hour but, as you can clearly see behind me, the devil himself is at the door.”
Prior to speaking, Shakespeare coughed quietly to clear his throat. “What light through yonder window breaks? It is from the east! Can it be the sun?”
“Yes, what is this terrible light that is thrown upon man?” asked Charles Darwin.
“Aliens,” replied the Professor.
“The foul Spaniards!” exclaimed Drake, reaching to his scabbard.
“Would that it were. No, these are invaders from beyond the stars, the like of which our world has never seen.”
“Had I not witnessed this with my own two eyes, I would not have believed that the world of man could be subdued,” muttered Herbert Wells. “Who can know for certain how long these creatures have watched us from across the gulf of space, gazing down upon us with envious eyes as we busied ourselves about our various little concerns and affairs, serene in our assurances of empire over matter. They will no doubt have studied our world as a man with a microscope might scrutinise the creatures that swarm in a drop of water. These alien creatures are most assuredly intelligences far greater than that of man.”
“And now, all the youth of England are on fire?” enquired Henry V as he strode purposefully towards the window.
“Not all,” replied professor Postlethwait. “We few, we gallant few yet remain to fight the good fight in the name of Britannia.”
A youthful Queen Victoria stared caustically at the scene beyond the glass. “I am far from amused by these events. The Queen is most anxious to enlist everyone in checking this mad, wicked folly.”
Horatio Nelson offered a reassuring smile. “Fear not, your highness, desperate affairs require desperate measures. England expects that every man assembled here will do his duty.”
“Indeed, have no fear, ma’am, each of us will play his part,” said an emphatic Winston Churchill. “And never in the field of human conflict will so much be owed by so many to so few.”
“The enemy lies just beyond the brow and the art of war consists of getting at whatever is on the other side of a hill,” suggested Arthur Wellesley with supreme confidence. “I have often said that the only thing I fear is fear itself. I know not what effect the men gathered here will have upon these aliens, but, by God, they frighten me.”
Sir Francis Drake fingered his beard and looked towards the horizon; the sky now had the appearance of a raging inferno. “From whence the beast?”
“We do not know,” replied Postlethwait. “We have had no communication from the creatures.” He indicated the bank of monitors, a few of which continued to display scenes of chaos and destruction. However, the majority either flashed with static or were black. Dead. “They landed five days ago. We received little warning. There was no declaration of war, no opportunity afforded for parley. They have simply moved from country to country destroying everything in their path.”
Wells averted his gaze. “It is systematic genocide of the human race.”
“Indeed.”
“To what end?” asked Captain Scott.
“We can but speculate,” replied Caruthers. “After all, what is it that drives any nation to trample upon another?”
“The very fact that it can,” suggested Queen Elizabeth I, raising an eyebrow.
“Much might be wrested from a sure defeat,” offered Thomas Lawrence nonchalantly.
“We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist,” bellowed Queen Victoria.
“Be not too harsh on the fellow, sweet Queen,” whispered King Henry. “Men of few words are the best men.”
“He fears a rout, ma'am. The hardest thing of all, for a soldier, is to retreat,” offered Wellesley. “And yet, there in nothing more melancholy as a battle won.”
Suddenly a war-machine appeared on the skyline, funnels belching thick smoke as it strode across the fields towards the institute. A monstrous quadruped higher than the tallest building, its black metallic hull was in stark contrast to the blanket of snow that lay white and crisp upon the land.
Raising itself to its full height, the machine flourished its heat weapon high in the air. With a deafening roar, the heat ray swept across the institute’s outer wall incinerating concrete, steel and many of those inside. Peering through the remains of the window, Charles Chaplin observed the war-machine in silence. Once more the terrifying weapon was flourished and the invisible heat ray leapt from Raleigh to Newton to Cook. There was a dazzling flare as each of them ignited.
“Well this is a bloody rum deal!” exclaimed Montgomery as he, too, was incinerated.
Horatio Nelson drew his sword and turned to rally the remaining Britons. “I have yet my legs and one arm! Let me at these foul creatures, for I shall not, if I am in the field of glory, be kept out of sight.”
“When the blast of war blows in our ears, then shall we imitate the tiger,” declared Henry V. “Let us stiffen the sinews and summon up the blood. Unto the breach, dear friends, that we might close up the wall with our English dead.”
William Shakespeare stepped forward to place a hand upon the King’s shoulder. “A fine speech, noble Henry. One that I have a mind to inscribe when our work here is done.”
“Good Lord, yes! In the excitement I had almost forgotten,” exclaimed professor Postlethwait. “James, dear friend, please escort William, Herbert and the rest of the non-combatants to the temporal chamber. Have them returned to their own time periods before it is too late. For each of them still has much to contribute to this nations glorious history. Oh, and James, go with them. Escape into the past, my friend. Save yourself.”
“But what of you, Oswald, what shall become of you?”
“Me? I shall stay behind and fight, fight until the bitter end. For is it not fitting that we should make our final stand here in the meadows of Runnymede, where the seal of King John was placed upon the Magna Carta?”
“But the heat ray, Oswald, you cannot hope to -”
“Do not concern yourself with my fate. For if I am to burn it will be with fire in my belly, here, in the ashes of our proud Empire standing shoulder to shoulder with our nations greatest heroes.”
“Then you expect to die?”
“Aye, ashes to ashes. Yet unlike the legendary phoenix we shall not rise up. Our kind shall not grace this isle again.”
“Then what was it all for? I believed there was hope, that we might -”
“Alas, this venture was always doomed to failure, as was the human race on the very first day it sat a child in front of a television set. No, this nation was never destined to be saved, I merely wished for us to go out in style,” said Oswald Postlethwait. He smiled a knowing smile, and turned to march unto the breach.
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Written by Emmuttmax (203 comments posted) 12th August 2008 | | Damn Steve, I could find only a couple misplaced commas to bitch about. Well done. I anticipated Herbert sneezing, and the alien war machines dying of the common cold. | Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 12th August 2008 | Ah yes, the old stray comma! I wrote this fairly quickly using a lot of cut and paste, indeed a lot of the actual historical quotes were sliced and diced in an attempt to make them sound slightly less, dare I say, clichéd (it’ll also helps me avoid claims of plagiarism and any copyright issues - although some of the buggers are long dead, so presumably long out of copyright!). Hopefully I’ll pick up a few strays during my tidy up, however, I am at the moment, having spent far too many hours bashing at the keyboard, ever so slightly blind to both spelling and punctuation. Perhaps tomorrow? Oh dear, it already is! Cheers and all the best, Steve. | Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 12th August 2008 | As you say, Steve a bit of a rough draft.The premise is a good one, thought I think something similar was used in a film called Last Action Hero. I think your take was a much stronger one, though You set it up quickly and clearly so even a sci-fi-phobe like could understand it. Introducing all the famous historical characters with there pet sayings was fun but it did go on a bit and I must admit I was glad to see the arrival of the War machine. I'm not sure what they had to offer beyond a few pithy epigrams which wouldn't have been very effective against a heat ray. Perhaps I misunderstood it but why were they sent back? I was expecting them to use their special talents to save the world. Wouldn't it have been better to recall Oppenhiemer and the bloke who invented the doodlebug and nuke the buggers? I'll see how it goes on jane | Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 12th August 2008 | It doesn’t go on, that’s it. You obviously missed the point completely. It was the last hoorah, no more and no less. Last Action Hero?!?! Which version did you see? Cheers, Steve. | Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 12th August 2008 | Yes but the flaw in the story,for me,was that it needn't have been the last hoorah. I don t know which version it's my sons video. It's the one with Arnie in. | Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 12th August 2008 | Taking a story in a particular direction is not a flaw, it is a conscious decision. The flaw in Alice in Wonderland is that much of the conversation is totally unbelievable because Rabbits and Hares can’t talk! “Yes but the flaw in the story, for me, was that it needn't have been the last hoorah.” If it wasn't intended to be the last hoorah, then I wouldn’t have called it “The Last Hoorah…” would I? Moscow is razed, Washington aflame, Europe reduced to a radioactive wasteland and Jane able to grasp the fact that they had nothing to offer beyond a few pithy epigrams which wouldn't have been very effective against a heat ray. So of course it had to be the Last Hoorah. Last Action Hero/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I have watched them on numerous occasions and fail to see any similarities. Again thanks for the read, but I still believe that you missed the plot. All the best, Steve.
| Written by coosh (923 comments posted) 14th August 2008 | | Not familiar with 'Alice in Sunderland', so some allusions/concepts may be over my head here, but thoroughly enjoyed the way you put this together, as a rough draft. You write with confidence and energy, which draws the reader in further to the various chronological juxtapositions (although an odd famous quote too many perhaps detracted momentarily from the efficiency of the build-up) - but a great idea and character portrayal. The definitive nature of the impending conclusion was an unexpected but (intentionally) unsettling climax. Very enjoyable. | Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 14th August 2008 | Coosh, thanks for the read and review. I’m still working on this, adding in more incidental dialogue to explain background as well as to break up the quotations. With reference to Alice in Sunderland, the part which prompted this story was where the narrator was listing all of the famous people who had played the local theatre. It gave me the initial idea for a story wherein I could assemble Great Britons, all I needed was a vehicle. As you now know, I decided on a last hoorah. All the best, Steve | Written by Nick (163 comments posted) 14th August 2008 | Hey Steve, I liked this - The idea that the world is screwed so we get all the best historical figures to fight the fight just to go out in a classy way. Cool idea although I wonder how our heroes would feel to be transported to the future only to be slaughter by aliens - actually maybe they'd be ok with it!! It's also very impressive as a 'rough draft' - Hell if my final versions could come out this well I'd be one happy dude. Keep up the good work. Nick | Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 14th August 2008 | Nick, thank you, as always, for the read and review. I'm still tweaking this, adding to it, polishing odd bits of poor grammar; I was probably tweaking as you were reviewing. The Last Hoorah grows and yet the Empire still dies! All the best, Steve.
| Yawn Written by PuppyWuppy (29 comments posted) 28th August 2008 | YAWN Trid read it , got bored, and fell asleep. | wait Written by PuppyWuppy (29 comments posted) 29th August 2008 | tried, sorry, butter fingers! | Isaac Written by GeraldRennett (1 comments posted) 14th September 2008 | Ignore the nay-sayers and the yawners - I really enjoyed it and it actually reminded me of early Asimov! What greater praise could an aspiring SF writer have... | Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 14th September 2008 | Dear Gerald, thank you for taking the time to read and review my little yarn. I would never ignore the comments of a nay-sayer, for at least they have an opinion (and all opinions have some merit). However, yawners (and in particular this yawner) I have now learned to ignore as they offer nothing worthy of consideration. Asimov! What greater praise could an aspiring SF writer have…? None greater (as Nigel would say) - I only hope that I can perform up to the praise. All the best, Steve. | Uh-huh Written by zee666 (51 comments posted) 1st October 2008 | | The dialogue was good, fitting for each individual but, as you said, it was copied and pasted alot, which says little for your skill with the english language. Furthermore, the description was awful, you said you wished to avois the cliche but what is more cliched than ' the sky was a brilliant, fiery red'... well now that i think about it alot of things but it still sucks. AS this is a first draft it can be forgiven but what is good, as you said, was mainly taken from other sources, i worry for your other works if that is the case. Which i will read shortly. | Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 1st October 2008 | Zee for zero. I can think of only one thing worse than having a petulant child as a stalker… Mm, no, actually I can’t. As your beautifully crafted and oh so eloquent review seems to be in the minority I shall simply choose to ignore both it and you.
| Written by zee666 (51 comments posted) 1st October 2008 | | Very grown up response to a REVIEW steve, bravo. | Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 2nd October 2008 | Bravo, a very grownup review. And 'almost' written in English, well done. | Uh-huh Written by zee666 (51 comments posted) 2nd October 2008 | | Uh-huh, they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but to be honest, i just find it obnoxious, engage your brain steve, god put it there for a reason. | Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 2nd October 2008 | I hear the sound of kindergarten calling, don’t be late. And on the subject of obnoxious - I now tire of you and so leave you to play with yourself; you’re probably quite good at that. | *waves white flag* Written by zee666 (51 comments posted) 3rd October 2008 | I give up steve, i really do, you're like a smart three year old. Your dissing is pathetic and you obviously can't read too good so... *waves white flag and walks away, then sits down to play videogames and worries about the mentality of some people* |
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