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Non-Fiction
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| Auto Shop 101 | |
| By TomOBrien | ||||||
| 13 August 2008 | ||||||
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I’ve been trying to simplify my life. This doesn’t include lying on a dirty garage floor under my car and draining hot motor oil into a catch pan. I stopped by a friend’s house this past Saturday afternoon. I found him in his driveway and under his wife’s car. He was changing the oil. There are three cars in his family, his own, his wife’s and his daughter’s car. He changes the oil on all three vehicles three or four times a year. The first Saturday or Sunday after the end of any given quarter will find him in his garage, or out in his driveway, and under one of the three vehicles. He will have been mucking around under all three by the end of the day. I heard the wrench ping musically off of the oil pan and his cursing followed by the glug-glug of dirty motor oil draining into a catch pan. He wrenched the hot oil filter off and did some more cursing as it plopped into the catch pan and splashed out hot, dirty motor oil. I pulled open the garage refrigerator, helped myself to a cold beer, unfolded a lawn chair and offered my support. “One car down and two to go!” I announced loudly. “You GO Buddy!” It’s painful to watch. He rolls out from under the car, oil slick in his hair, black smudges on his face, hot, dirty motor oil running down his arm, knuckles bleeding. “Toss me that filter wrench will ya’?” He calls in my direction. I cast about for a few seconds and notice a oil filter wrench a few inches from my right foot. I stretch my leg and give it a kick sending it spinning off in his direction. He snares it as it threatens to fly by and rolls back under the car. It has started to rain. After wrenching the drain plug back into place and twisting in a new oil filter he rolls out from under the car and comes into the garage. “Darn rain!” He says while peering out of the open garage door and up at a heavy, grey sky. “Thought I’d be done before it started." He’s already serviced his own car and his wife’s but has his daughter’s car yet to do. He uses synthetic oil in all three, which is another thing I don’t get. You are suppose to be able to go more miles between oil changes with the synthetic oil because it doesn’t break down as quickly, but he still changes the oil every three-thousand miles. “Bob, why don’t you just drive to the damn Express Lube down the street and let them do this dirty work?” “Nahh. I don’t trust any of those guys. You never know what they are going to do. Or not do.” We’ve had this discussion a number of times before. It’s not like he has a Lamborghini or a Maserati. He drives a five year old Pontiac. His wife’s car is an older mini van and his daughter’s is a Geo Prism. What are the guys at the quick lube place going to do to hurt these vehicles? “It’s not rocket science Bob, it’s an oil change. Pull the plug, drain the old oil. Put the plug back in. Unscrew the filter. Screw in a new one. Refill with new oil. A pretty simple operation.” “I know, I know Obie, but I like turning the wrenches too.” He replies. He must like laying on his back on a grimy wet piece of cardboard while hot, dirty motor oil runs down his arm too because that’s what usually happens. Multiply that by a factor of three. Myself? I drive to the nearest Quick Change place and let them do it. If it’s morning I’ll pick one near a breakfast joint and go have a nice breakfast while I wait. If it’s later in the day I’ll pick a quick lube place near a decent pub. I’ll go and watch a few innings of base ball and drain a pint while I wait. My goal is to simplify. Yeah, it used to be fun and a bit of a challenge to do your own simple auto maintenance. Brake jobs, oil changes, rotate the tires, pull off the summer tires and put on the snow tires, change the wiper blades and air filter. But it’s more trouble than it’s worth these days. It seems that way to me anyway. Once I got to about age fifty it became more difficult to justify crawling under a car in my garage or on my driveway. Particularly on cold and wet winter days. And yes, those guys at the Quick Lube want to try and sell you everything under the sun. “Drain and flush the transmission? Change the rear axel grease? Flush your cooling system? Repack your wheel bearings? Change the air in your tires?” You just have to smile and say no. “Not today thank you. I’ll be trading that car in soon and don’t want to put the money into it. Just the oil and filter today please.” How do you handle auto maintenance?
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