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Poetry
Nature Calls
By kkforever123
13 August 2008
Ok, well this is one of my poems from another site and it happened to get number one on the high scores list. This is one of the few I've made that don't really rhyme but I feel that it has great meaing to it, just because of global warming and pollution are harming animals and wildlife and I feel it is our resposibility to change it. So I hope you like it, and I really appreciate all the comments.
:)

Inside the forest
nature calls your name.
The trees limbs' embrace your thoughts.
Nature Calls.

The sweet smell of the flowers lure you in.
You can almost taste the bitter taste of the berries,
hanging loosely on the bush.
Nature Calls.

The wet grass crunches as you slowly walk into the forest.
The leaves sway back and forth,
some lightly falling to the ground.
The vibrant colours and magnificent species are waiting for you.
Nature Calls.

You hear the "Chirp,chirp" of a nearby bird.
Welcoming you into the forest.
You see panicked green eyes in a nearby bush.
Slowly the eyes turn,
leaving only a big, fluffly orange tail of a fox.
You safely enter, the homes of many.
Nature Calls.

You hear many trampling feet swiftly coming towards you.
You see foxes, squirrels, deer and more rushing to you.
They all have a worried expression painted on there face,
they need you.
Then you hear a crack, as a tree slowly falls to the earth with an earsplitting 'Boom!'
The smell of smoke is in the air.
And an orange glow awaits as it nears toward you. Meaning of one thing,
Fire.
The fire destroys all that is in its path, what was once alive and in need, the helpless animals run away leaving what was once a home to them.
Above the birds cry, quickly flying away.
The homes to many are now gone.
What are you going to do about it?
Nature Calls.

Katelyn
6th grade


Reviews
Coolio!
Written by Bookwormandco. (39 comments posted) 13th August 2008
That's a really fantastic poem Ketelyn, 
I particularly liked the fourth stanza/paragraphy - thing, it had its own nice little rythm to it. 
Tips for next time: perhaps use the stanza length to create effect, eg. Have "Boom!" on its own line so it seems more sudden. 
Also keep an eye out for alternative words, it strengthens the effect of the poem. So perhaps take a bit of time to look through a Thesaurus for some new words.  
Call me sad but I think it's really fun . :P 
Good topic to choose though, it's a broad subject and you grasped it really well, made local kind of thing. 
Keep writing and best of luck. :) 
Lauren 
 
:) :)
Thanks
Written by kkforever123 (6 comments posted) 13th August 2008
Thanks for the advice! And actually about the "Boom!" thing with its own stanza, lol I actually had it that way but I think it kinda messed up when I copied it from my other site. But anyways thank you so much and I'll look for some more effective words also. 
:)

Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 13th August 2008
My problem with this is that a "call of nature" usually means going for a pee.
lol
Written by kkforever123 (6 comments posted) 13th August 2008
lol ya, it normally does i guess, I just never really thought of that before

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