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Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 14th August 2008 |
| Yes, I have to agree with you Paula, this can be true, and you only have to hear the news to know it is true. But we do only hear the worst of the news and there is also a world alongside this one where there is goodness and kindness, of which we hear little. You don't need to die to find Heaven or Hell because they exist side by side on this earth. I thought you put this very well in your poem. show the other side of the coin though. |
Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 14th August 2008 |
Thankyou Josie. I was writing more from my world as in my head rather than the tabloids.
I will write a jolly happy one soon though but you know me it is either insanely happy, vulgar or wrist slashingly depressing, I don't do things by halves it wouldn't be fun! |
Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 14th August 2008 |
You say, unfinished - I thought it was pretty complete and affecting too. Not a pleasant read, in fact it becomes more uncomfortable as it goes on. Short is probably best for something like this - lest we all slash our wrists while reading the thirteenth stanza. And the sad thing is - you could easily go to thirteen stanzas.
Didn't 'like' it much - but powerfully done - and the simplicity aids that. I can't comment on its technical merits, but it does what much poetry on here fails to do: connect and have an affect.
Phil |
Cripes!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 14th August 2008 |
You two have really got down to the nitty-gritty!
Wow!
Poetry, alas, cannot rid our world of its problems and suffering, but lines such as Paula''s,
"The angels have no face"
at least make us think about it, which can only be a good, if depressing, thing about it.
Thank you for your exquisite insight, Paula.
John X |
Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 14th August 2008 |
oooo ta. Hmmm I didn't realise it was that dark, gosh I can go a lot bleaker. I like to indulge in the dark side.
Thankyou for you reviews xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 15th August 2008 |
Not a pleasant read (as already mentioned) but very powerful - 'Man is backened with Desire' was a great line.
Cheers |
Written by Robru (272 comments posted) 15th August 2008 |
A timely poem, our courts are busy with the prosecution of those caught inflicting indignities on children. Writing about these things won't stop them, but it makes us think more about these things.
Cheers
Bob |
Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 15th August 2008 |
Thankyou Josie,Phil,John,Brett and Bob.
I appreciate your honest reviews and I do believe some things should be written and spoken about even if they make us feel uncomfortable. |
Written by mr_soul (126 comments posted) 15th August 2008 |
Paula, I really like this. Well, from a poetic point of view I think its fabulous, it is kinda depressing, but (from someone who's musical tastes include Morrissey, Leonard Cohen, Radiohead and Neil Young) I'm quite drawn to the darker side of things. As you say, nobody should shy away from the issues nomatter how uncomfortable they are. And I think you did a great job with this one, some memorable lines here.
Nice one! |
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