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Poetry


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Side-tracked

By beatricelouise

15 August 2008

Just a memory that came to me a while ago. Hope you enjoy!

He came to visit, a welcome surprise.
The weather my Uncle did not surmise,
such dark and bleak contemptuous skies.
Our journey took place on mountainous highs.

To watch my man with powersaw in hand.
A lumberjack felling huge logs on land.
A skidder, dragging trees so tall, so grand,
stacked high in piles, they're in great demand.

I still remember that frightful day.
The climb uphill, the chill delay.
Inside the car, feeling warm like May,
but ice had formed along the way.

The wheels spun, we slipped alongside
the mountain edge, with jaws drooping wide.
A scream escaped, my fear I couldn't hide,
to think we could have taken a glide.

We sat engulfed in the torrential rain.
A trapper appeared, so sad to obtain
the news that we passed the road on the plain.
Pulling us out, didn't fuss or complain.

We arrived home, the lumberjack sat,
where might I be on a day such as that.
Not once did I search or endeavour at,
taking the time to look again for the rat.

Newly weds back then, our love fairly new.
Didn't take long, his character showed through.
Him leaving me home like an old shoe
worn out with four children, him out with his crew.

Reviews

Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 16th August 2008

What a frightening story Beatrice. You changed from "your uncle" to "our" in the first verse. I assume he phoned to ask for help? Your rhyming is a bit strained in this, as if you are trying to fit the story to the rhymes and not the other way. It is also extremely difficult, I would think, to find four rhyming words for each verse to fit a story, but you had a good try. Well done.

Hi Beatrice
Written by jean.day (2387 comments posted) 17th August 2008

There's a lot more to this poem than the number of words used would imply. And you manage to get the feeling of the terror and frustration - both with the weather and with the lumberjack. I liked "the bleak contemptuous skies."

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