THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST IN HENLEY ON THAMES

A preacher appears in the old Market Place
causing the buskers to scowl.
There is something familiar to all in His face;
He’s the double of that Robert Powell.

He speaks about love, says He’s sent here from God
to call all of us to repentance.
A pair of old codgers pronounce “Silly sod!
They should’ve retained the death sentence!”

He turns lots of heads, as the shoppers pass by,
with those wounds on His feet and His hands.
The androgynous stylist at Toni & Guy
thinks He might be that nice Russell Brand.

The good souls who work in the charity shops
find His white-robed appearance “quite puzzlin’”.
They offer Him trousers and casual tops
to look less like a radical Muslim.

The priest at St Mary’s, who’s looking quite nervous,
complains, with expression quite shrewish;
“I can’t ask Him to preach at our next Sunday service;
remember, dear flock, that He’s Jewish.”

Soon, banners with “Welcome back, Saviour” are made,
people shyly invite Him to dinner,
until Waitrose runs out of Pimm’s - and lemonade! -
while the cake shop is on to a winner.

The Ladies who Lunch, in their twinsets and pearls,
serve a buffet, allow Him to mingle.
They primp up and preen all the horsey-set girls,
as they’ve heard that Our Lord is still single.

Police helicopters are filling the sky
while TV reporters abound.
The outlying villagers’ tempers are high
as gridlock takes over the town.

The Oxford constabulary beats back the crowds,
both the atheists and the believing.
They bark out instructions from megaphones, loud,
while Jesus is quietly leaving.