HELLO AFTER ASKING JOSIE'S OPINION I'VE REACHED THE CONCLUTION THAT PREHAPS THIS WORK NEEDS TO BE EXPLAINED FOR YOU TO SEE WHERE I'M COMING FROM. REALLY IT'S ALL ABOUT MY OWN SELF IMAGE AND MY CONFUSION TO WHAT I REALLY AM . I'M SORT OF ASKING YOUR OPINION WAS I PATHITICAL WEAK THAT I FELT THE NEED TO SUCK MY THUMB UNTIL THE AGE OF 12 OR WAS I STRONG DEALING WITH SO MUCH THE REST IS JUST ME SHOWING A LITTLE BIT OF WHAT IT LIKE TO HAVE ALL ROUND YOU TRYING TO PUT YOU DOWN     

Child unique or generic freak

Sat in the corner alert to early warning

Sucking her thumb pathetic too some

Tuned into every mood waiting for what was to come 

Dark eyes scanning panning ready to zoom

Necessary whenever he was in the room

Senses charged primed with static electricity

Mind, body, bone, hair detecting anxiety
 
Anticipating tasting changing atmosphere  

Fundamental it's painfully clear

To a child living in such abject fear

Trying ever so hard never to shed a tear

For she had a secret she needed to hide

A weapon carried deep down inside

If it was uncovered she'd be crucified

An inner strength on which she relied 

Enabled her to flourish not just survive

It gifted her with eternal hope

That was the tool that helped her cope

It quenched any desire to give in retire

To delete all positive meaningful feelings

Trying to hide as many have tried and died

Using abusing drink, drugs or cancerous smokes

So you be the judge of what that child be

Special unique or generic freak

O! by the way that child was me