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Poetry
It's a draw.
By ReflectingGod
16 August 2008
I needed to write something.
I am or was in a relation-ship...I guess.
Or to others a relation-shit.
Nothing bad happened...Just lost touch and we're to proud to pick up
the phone.
So we are in a stand still.
Enjoy my problem~

I don't know if I should feel something or nothing.
I don't know if I could care or care less.

I have no clue what you are thinking but I can guess.
I have no anger, I have no angst, I am mellow.

Should I care?
Should I remain thoughtless?

I am left on a wire...I am about to jump off this cliff.
You left me hanging, you could care less.

So, I'll do the same.

I won't speak, I won't smile, I won't wish you happiness.
I will not wish anything at all.

I am going to breathe and live and laugh
But not with you.

You'll understand.
You'll do the same.

I guess we're through.

Reviews

Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 17th August 2008
Whilst I can, almost, identify with the content and sentiment here, and enjoyed some of the lines, I do feel that it needs a bit more work. But, I'll be honest - I can't quite put my finger on what it is I have a problem with. 
Do I feel this could flow better as a formal verse? 
Is it the repetition in the first 6 lines (I don't know / I have no / Should I)? 
Perhaps it is just that I prefer poetic form, and it's not that I don't like this piece - I just think a little more effort and polishing could make this a good poem. 
Cheers

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