Does he miss his pretty gypsy lass?
Her with hair so shiny black
Ravens would caw demanding it back
Does he long for her now gone?
Does her image still disturb his sleep?
Haunt his dreams with eyes so deep
Belied her years so mystically dark and wise?
Does he yearn to hold her again?
For just a glimpse once again
Of her innocent shy smile.
That held the power to drive him wild
Teasing him with the promise of forbidden sin
Raising him to the heights of passionate desire
Is she the only one that still lights his fire?
Or can it possible be
He still able to see a little of her
Resides before his eyes hidden in me
|
Wow! Whoooooosh!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 16th August 2008 |
Violet, I am bowled over.
I had to read it several times - I went back to your first poem 'Photograph'. Amazing!
I am quite emotional -
'This beautiful wild dark eyed gypsy lass'
is what you are for me - it shines through your poetry!
John X
|
Written by 1211kellie (177 comments posted) 16th August 2008 |
Very emotional piece. It brought back memories of a man I deeply loved 20 years ago. I often wonder if he still thinks of me. I remember him clearly but in reality the passage of time has probably changed him considerably.
|
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 17th August 2008 |
This is, for me Violet, the finest piece that you have written. There are some great linesand images;
'Ravens could caw demanding it back'
'Teasing him with the promise of forbidden sin'
My only gripe is the layout - this would, I think, read better in one block of text.
Enjoyed immensely.
Cheers |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 17th August 2008 |
That is very good! I was going to say, yes, tighten up the spacing a bit, but Brett just said it for me.
For me, your best so far, I think! I loved the ravens line. |
Bowled over
Written by meadowcroft1964 (112 comments posted) 17th August 2008 |
That what I am can't quite beleive I deserve such praise
you really boost my confidence thanks |
Written by mr_soul (126 comments posted) 17th August 2008 |
| Another good one, I enjoyed this. Can't really say anything else other than echo the other comments, a nice poem, well done |
Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 17th August 2008 |
Ditto all the above.
Best one yet xxx |
Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 17th August 2008 |
Liked this very much. As much for the thinking behind it as the execution. It's a fine idea - well done.
Phil |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 17th August 2008 |
With all the reviewers above. Lovely. The last lines, I imagine, mean this is about love that lasted?
Mia  |
Mia
Written by meadowcroft1964 (112 comments posted) 18th August 2008 |
It's nice to hear from you again I've got the feeling you are my number one fan and yes you are correct it my husband whose's the love I always write about thanks again everyone for the praise.
xxx |
Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 20th August 2008 |
| I've only just noticed this little gem Violet. It really is very lovely. Sometimes I think that it is good just to hold our past "loves" in our minds because, like returning to a home you used to love, sometimes the modern reality can spoil the image. In my mind, my past boyfriends still have youth and all that goes with it. I could find now that life has spoilt them. So I hope he carries the image of you as you were then in his mind. Excellent writing. One little change needed: Can it possiblY be. Easy to change. |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.
Previous item
