Poetry
First Love
By meadowcroft1964
17 August 2008

First love held my hand without demand

His kisses were so sweet, warm and tender 

I develop goosebumps when I remember

I spent them days in a dreamy haze 

Which spilled over into the night 

As I was awakened to passionate desire

When he first ignited my sensual fire 

Promising eternity to last forever bright

Never diminishing never dimming

Suspended in time and space 

Locking me safe in his tight embrace

I no longer felt pain or sorrow 

There was only the day no tomorrows

If only I could experience that sensation once again 

If not for keeps then perhaps to borrow

O! how I wish ...

Reviews
Emotions wll captured but...
Written by JohnnyD (177 comments posted) 17th August 2008
I liked the way you have written and reminisced about your first love. However, please correct three things in your poem - 
 
2nd Line - Its not It's 
 
6th Line - As not Has 
 
7th Line - Ignited not Ignition 
 
Also the last line - delete the "sigh" instead just put three dots after wish... (like this) - it will indicate unfulfilled desire to the whole poem. 
 
I am sure you will realise this once you put the correct words in respective place... the poem will be more effective. 
 
Take care! 
 
Johnny D
Strongly . . .
Written by Katanga (4169 comments posted) 18th August 2008
. . . and openly heart-felt. 
 
Really like you second-to-last: 
 
'If not for keeps then perhaps to borrow' 
 
Cheers! 
 
John X

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