Inspired by my work experience week and the Onion.
apologies for the bad joke in the middleish area, it was very unsubtle, but it had to be said.
Apart from that, enjoy!
Today in Cheltenham extreme boredom almost killed a 15 year-old girl in an office job, whilst on work experience.The girl, Lauren Matthews, was working at the University of Gloucester in the Community and Countryside Research Institute, when, on her last day there; she collapsed from what is medically known as ‘a massive boredom attack’.“The attacks are not fatal, but can leave long lasting mental scars such as a slight twitch when in front of a computer, and a fear of paperwork.” said Cheltenham General Hospital’s spokesman, Martin Williams.
Lauren was literally seconds from death when at last, the clock struck eleven and it was time for a coffee break.She was unconscious for 2 days but after several emergency doses of TV and books is now on her way to recovery.
The boredom slowly liquifies the brain leaving it inactive and in danger of leaking out of the ears.
The symptoms of ‘boredom attacks’ are: a severe headache, extreme tiredness, repeating yourself, and a tendency to stare out of windows, and a tendancy to stare out of windows. They can cause comas and in the worst cases a career in politics.
People who most commonly suffer from this illness are: poeple working in nursing Homes, the radio presenters of Classic fm, and anyone watching the 24 hour news channel.
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Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 18th August 2008 | I enjoyed this, been there, done it.
Mia  |
Written by coosh (923 comments posted) 21st August 2008 | Yes, this was obviously of enormous value in your GCSEs, and the deadliness of your predicament is clearly conveyed. Liquefaction of the brain was good – if you connect a tube from your ear to your mouth and suck hard enough it has the same effect as Horlicks blended with lettuce, or just passes the time, I forget which. Symptoms could also have included picking and scratching various parts of the anatomy to the point of creating a life-threatening infection.
Now come on, Lauren, chop chop, there’s two kilos of paper clips to count, and then if you could collect all the spare elastic bands in the building and construct a scale model of the British Olympic rowing team by the week-end…. believe me, the true benefit of these tasks will become evident when you sit your exams… |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 21st August 2008 | I know we are not supposed to review reviews, but Coosh's comments above just about cracked me up!
Sorry, Bookwormandco, that my review is sparse - I'm not good at analysing funny stuff - I just know I enjoy them.
Mia |
Written by Bookwormandco. (39 comments posted) 25th August 2008 | He he he!
No probs Mia, I'm glad you enjoyed it. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 27th August 2008 | Having worked in offices I could really sympathise with this one. I liked the style of it, it had a journalistic feel to it to contrast with the silly scenario. Perhaps the ending could have been more extreme or a bit more OTT, or maybe make a satirical point by saying something likle "Worst case senarios with this disease have been know to lead to a career in politics" [or whatever job you want to have a pop at.
Great piece, just needs to end with a bang
cheers
jane | Luved it!
Written by Bookiegirl (15 comments posted) 30th August 2008 | I've been there, done that, felt the same! I thought it was a very accurate interpretation, I couldn't have put it better myself! Not too sure what else to say, I'm not the best reviewer in the world!
Bookiegirl  |
Written by wltshr (352 comments posted) 2nd September 2008 | I have to agree with Jane.
Well constructed, funny, and inventive.
A big close would have improved it still further.
Regards
Wltshr |
Written by Fledermaus (3506 comments posted) 2nd September 2008 | | Good one! How boredom could lead to such a funny piece! |
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