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Poetry
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| Insomniac's Dream | |
| By kitten_princess | ||||||
| 09 January 2006 | ||||||
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Yet again, another poem I'm not sure about. I dislike the title too, but, like a lot of things, "it seemed like a good idea at the time". EDIT: I changed one word! Spot the difference! Tick, tock, tick. Rest. The dark is muffling the sound, To choke it, to silence. No one is around. No one Sees the orange streets, The alien sky with clouds Mixed with dark, laced with dull paint, The Artist lost control. It's early o'clock. Too late to be night Not yet the birth of day The clock splutters to life, tick tick tick tick Tock. Tick tock. It doesn't feel right Being so alert while the earth is Still so groggy and hungover From the day before. I see the sun pierce through the Sky. Spears of light cut through The curtains and they alert me Like my alarm that laughs: Time for day.
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This is extremely atmospheric. There are one or two words that don't quite work for me in the last verse ("piercing" seems to have too many syllables, and "giggles" doesn't seem quite in tune with the rather stark imagery that precedes it, but perhaps this is intentional?), but those are very minor details really. The title is clever too, and I think it should stay!
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