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Great Writing - Home > Short S. > Another PB Olympic Update: Oil, Zinc, and Apaches
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| Another PB Olympic Update: Oil, Zinc, and Apaches | |
| By Emmuttmax | ||||||||||||
| 18 August 2008 | ||||||||||||
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Sorry, I can't help myself.
Another PB Olympic Update: Oil, Zinc, and Apaches
The sky is dumping sweat all over San Antonio today, so I stayed in and caught a little Olympic action. Pathetic Bob was in my office surfing between various sites that offered more updated information on the games than I could get on NBC. I thought that once the action moved into the Bird’s Nest for track and field, some of the Phelp’s fanaticism would fade, but NBC is wringing every bit of emotion out of his victories it can. I strolled into my office and asked Bob—who had been at the terminal for 24 hours—how his Olympic viewing marathon was going “Well, I’m getting a little tired of beer commercials and adverts in which a giant oil company that made billions in profit last quarter tells viewers how it is St. Francis of Fossil Fuels because some of the people working there are trying to find a cure for malaria. Finding a cure is great, but spend some of those billions on finding a cure for oil dependency. But, aside from that, it’s going pretty good; the United States is winning.” “Winning what?’ I asked. “What are you? Dense? They’re winning the Olympics of course. They have more medals than any other country.” “How many of those medals are gold?” “Uh, well, not as many as China. But, that doesn’t matter, we have more silver, bronze and zinc, so we’re winning.” “’We’ aren’t winning anything Bob; the athletes are. And, if ‘we’ don’t have the most gold medals—which is what you win for ‘first’ place—then it’s kinda hard to justify saying we are winning.” “Fine Em, piss on everyone’s parade. Here’s a cool thing Em; a guy from India won a gold medal. It’s the first medal ever won by anybody from India. He won it for shooting, and he used a gun, not a bow and arrow. How cool is that?” “That’s very cool. I bet his country is very proud of him.” “Well, here’s the thing Em; everybody in India is pissed at him. India is where the zero was invented, and the country had a long, proud history of zeros on the Olympic scoreboard. Now, this guy comes along and puts up a one and kills India’s chances of not winning anything for the next thousand years. I don’t think they’re gonna let him back in the country; he’ll probably have to move to New Mexico and live with the Apaches.”
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